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When I lift weights, I don't hear things, I don't see things.
当我举重时，我什么也听不到，什么也看不见。
I know it sounds weird, but I'm so focused on lifting
我知道这听起来很奇怪，但我太专注于举重了，
that everything else kinda blanks out.
就会忽略外界的一切。
When I was super depressed, weightlifting was a reason to do something.
当我极度沮丧的时候，我就会去举重，这给了我做事情的理由。
I do think it helped me manage those mood swings.
我确实认为举重有助于控制我的情绪波动。
You know being bipolar is something that I'm proud to say, like I'm okay with it.
我可以很自豪地说我患有双相情感障碍，我觉得没什么大不了的。
And I would like to erase the stigma on all mental disorders.
我想抹去所有精神障碍的耻辱。
Growing up, sports were always pretty important to my family.
成长过程中，运动在我的家庭不可或缺。
And I spent 11 years doing gymnastics.
我花了11年时间练习体操。
When I was 15 years old I decided to end my career in gymnastics.
当我15岁的时候，我决定结束我的体操生涯。
And I found CrossFit just to stay in shape.
我发现CrossFit只是为了保持身材。
Through CrossFit, my current coach recruited me to get into weightlifting competitively
通过CrossFit，我现在的教练招募我参加举重比赛，
and I decided to take that on full time from there.
我决定开始进行举重的全职训练。
I've been weightlifting for about four years.
我已经举重四年了。
My first national competition was Youth Nationals in 2016.
我的第一次全国比赛是2016年的青少年全国赛。
About two years into my career I kinda realized I could go places with this.
在我职业生涯的两年里，我意识到我可以通过参赛来走上正轨。
In 2018 I had my first International medals at the Junior World Championships.
2018年，我在少年世锦赛上获得了第一枚国际奖牌。
And from there it kinda took off
从那时起，我的事业开始腾飞，
and last year in 2019 I had my breakout year.
去年的2019年是突破性的一年。
A highlight would be my 2019 World Championship.
2019年世界锦标赛将是我人生的一大亮点。
Last year I had a minor meet in Cuba
去年我在古巴参加了一个小型体育比赛，
and I just didn't want to lift.
我不想举重。
I wasn't feeling motivated.
我没有动力。
I didn't have that fire in me that I usually do.
我没有像平常那样有激情。
I bombed out, which means you don't make a lift.
我很崩溃，这意味着我无法举重了。
And when I got home, I didn't really get out of bed for about a week.
回到家的时候，我大约一个星期都赖在床上。
And I had been dealing with, you know, bouts of depression for probably two years at that point.
我那时候得了抑郁症，已经有大概两年了。
That was kinda my breaking point when I decided I needed help.
我觉得我需要帮助，那就是我的转折点。
And when I finally went to the doctor,
我最终去看医生，
the psychiatrist almost immediately recognized my symptoms
精神科医生几乎立刻意识到我的症状，
and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type two.
我被诊断为双相情感障碍II型。
One of the first things I thought was that I'm crazy
我第一感觉就是我疯了，
because it has kind of been put in my head that there's a stereotype around people that struggle with mental health.
因为我的脑子里对与心理健康作斗争的人有一种刻板印象。
It didn't take me long to realize that there's nothing to be ashamed of.
没过多久我就意识到没什么好羞愧的。
And I think I decided very early on that I was going to share this journey with others
我想我很早就决定和其他人分享这段历程，
in hopes that it would help other people get help faster than I did.
希望我的经历能帮助其他人比我更快地得到帮助。
Once I got help, I could go to training and focus on weightlifting,
当我得到了帮助，我就可以去训练，专注于举重，
not on if I'm gonna feel great today, or if I'm gonna feel awful.
而不是老是想着我今天是否感觉很好，或者我是否感觉很糟糕。
At this point, I'm all but qualified for the Olympics.
此时此刻，我几乎可以参加奥运会了。
So I'm really excited to train for that.
我超级兴奋地参加训练。
And I'm hoping to medal there and represent the USA for the first time.
我希望首次出战的我能代表美国获得奖牌。
Good.
很好。
There are some days that I literally have to push to my maximal effort
有一段时间，我真的必须尽最大努力，
and be about one rep away from failure.
我离失败一步之遥。
And it's not fun.
很没意思。
It can be very painful,
那段日子可能非常痛苦，
but you know, when it comes down to it, those are the days you get stronger.
但你知道，归根结底，你在那时变得更坚强。
It's a lotta hard work.
这是一项艰巨的工作。
And then it's really awesome to just put everything into those few seconds that you're competing.
台上十分钟，台下十年功，这种感觉真是太棒了。
