A: Hello, welcome back to Britain under the Microscope.
L: Hello.
A: So in today's episode we are continuing talking about weddings, and in this advanced episode, we're gonna be focusing more on marriage.
L: Hmm, that's an interesting topic, that's a big topic. I always wanted to ask, so when do people get married in the UK?
A: Well, legally, you can get married at the age of 16.
L: Well, with parents' permission?
A: Yeah, if you have parents' permission then it's 16, but if you don't, it's 18.
L: When do people actually get married?
A: Well, at the moment, according to statistics, the average age is 37 for a man and 34 for a woman.
L: That's for the UK average.
A: That's the UK average.
L: 37 that does sound a bit shocking to me. I have to admit. But I guess people, even when they are not married, they still （you know）live together （or）to be together, right?
A: Well absolutely. That's what we call cohabitation, or to co-habit.
L: To live together. So you know, in recent years, since you've been living in China for quite long, you know that in China we have this whole idea of 剩女 or 剩男，the 'leftover', meaning young people are under a lot of pressure to get married at an early age. And especially in, let's say, smaller cities, they are under even more pressure to get married or to be considered the so-called leftover at the age of 28 or so. Is there such an idea in the UK?
A: Well, there used to be. If you think back into the past, you think about Jane Austine, and you think about Pride and Prejudice and stories like that, and a lot of people who listen to the show, who read those book might think that in the UK we still have that idea, we still have that view. But it's less so now. It doesn't really exist.
L: You no longer have the words like old maid or spinster for example.
A: No, those are really really old. However, I think the idea of being, as we might say in English, left on the shelf.
L: Left on the shelf, like a product.
A: Yeah, so it's a product that nobody wants, it's left on the shelf. People still worry about that. And if you think about the film Bridget Jones's Diary, that's all about a woman who wants to get settled down, wants to get married.
L: When you reach a certain age, I suppose it's not just women, men as well.
A: Men as well, but I would say there's less social pressure in order to get married.
L: What about parental pressure from parents? Do parents get involved in their kids' marriage, or the whole relationship things, telling you that you reached a certain age, maybe you should consider marriage, settling down?
A: I guess there's just to a certain point, but it's not the same amount of pressure with some people might get in China. You know, for example, there's no pressure for us to bring home a boyfriend or girlfriend at Christmas or anything like that. But you have to think in the UK, parents do take a step back, they don't really tend to get involved in the romantic life of their children that much.
L: And I think it's probably their children wouldn't let them.
A: Pretty much. It's very very uncommon, it's quite unusual. However, saying that, there are certain cultures in the UK. We do have quite a large Indian, Muslin community, and the idea of arranged marriage is still relatively common.
L: Arrange marriage, meaning arranged by your family, by your parents.
A: But traditionally in the UK, We had that in the past, but less so now.
L: So we were talking about wedding and marriage. Since still there are a lot of people getting married. You know, in China, it's a really costly event.
A: Isn't it the same everywhere in the world?
L: I think there are still a lot of people, especially women, probably growing up wanting a grand wedding. So what is the average cost of a wedding in the UK?
A: Oh that's a very good question, and I actually did a bit of research before we had this show because I was quite curious myself. The average cost of a wedding in the UK is now 27,000 pounds.
L: 27,000 pounds, the last time we were talking about, this is roughly the average salary of a young person for a whole year. So a whole year's salary for a wedding, and this is the average.
A: Yes, this is the average.
L: Who's gonna pay for that?
A: Well, that's a big question. Traditionally, it's the bride's parents, it's the bride's family.
L: So it's the bride, the girl's family. Why is that?
A: Well, it's the idea of having a dowry I guess. So that's women and daughters they would always be given a dowry. If you think about Jane Austin, if you think about historical marriages, it's always the woman that has and brings a dowry so it's probably something to do with that.
L: Oh, so it's the bride's family. That's very different. What about the groom's family? What do they give?
A: Uhm, not very much. To be honest, the groom generally has to pay for the engagement ring, and after that, traditionally it's mostly the bride's parents.
L: But I guess nowadays there're still a lot of young people are paying for their own wedding, especially if they are having a very good job.

A: Well, absolutely, and it depends on the financial situation of their parents. You know, there is no expectation. People won't think any less of you if you don't pay for the wedding of your children.
L: And also I guess, and this is from a lot of movies and TV shows, now if you get married very young, probably your parents will pay for it. But once you reach a certain age, after that, you get married, you probably won't get any parents' support.
A: Well, it depends on the family, of course.
L: Of course. So, whenever we are talking about marriage, we have to touch upon the topic of divorce.
A: Yes.
L: You keep hearing, you know, in the UK, the divorce rate is really really high. Is it still increasing?
A: No, the divorce rate is actually going down in the UK.
L: Roughly, was it said in numbers?
A: According to statistics, in 2015, 8.5 divorces happened per 1,000 married people.
L: 8.5 in 1,000 in 2015?
A: Yes.
L: So the trend is going down.
A: Generally, the trend has been going down since the 1990s.
L: And what's the number back then?
A: About 14 divorces per 1,000 married people.
L: That is quite a drop from 14 to 8.5.
A: Yes, and it's quite unusual at the moment because the average age of getting divorced is between 40 and 44 in the UK.
L: That's very interesting because in China it's generally the younger who are getting divorced.
A: In the UK, it's mostly the old couples. The trend is growing, people in their 40s, 50s and even 60s are getting divorced now.
L: Probably it's also to … they finally fed up, and they think that there is still another life out there.
A: Maybe, maybe. Whereas before, I would always talk about the 7-year-itch.
L: The 7-year-itch, yes, 7 years, and then you are tired of your marriage.
A: At the moment, it's about the 14-year-itch.
L: For more matured couples.
A: Absolutely.
L: So what about the number of people that are actually getting married, is that going up or going down?
A: That is falling. It's quite important to point out that in the UK, the statistics, they are divided between same-sex marriage and marriage between a member of the opposite sex as well. But generally, for both, the number of people getting married is falling. In 2016, 9.8 per cent of the population co-habit.
L: So live together.
A: They live together, they might even have a family together.
L: And that's called common law marriage, isn't it?
A: Yes, the common law idea is quite complicated. It essentially is to protect people in terms of inheritance and also basic rights. So for example, it's quite common in the UK, that before you even get married, you would live with your partner for a number of years. So you will be sharing the same bill, you will be living in the same house. You are essentially being husband and wife.
L: Without the marriage certificate.
A: Yeah, without the marriage certificate. For example, in the UK, 20 percent of parents are not married.
L: Wow, would that affect any legal matters? Like custody of the child, or the assets they own.
A: It would have a little bit of effect. In terms of if they put their assets together, then they are shared equally, they are seen as combined assets. But the law is quite complicated.
L: Because I remember once a friend was telling me, this was an English person, and he broke up with his 9-year girlfriend. They lived together for 9 years, they never got the marriage certificate but when they broke up they still had to split the assets. Which is very common, right?
A: Yes, that's because both parties have a right to them. Because you have to think that they are living together, and they are acting as husband and wife, and they are recognized as partners by their friends, by their family, and also to a certain stance by the law as well.
L: So that's a lot of talk about marriage and wedding. We get to know more about the situation in the UK.
A: If you have any questions, please let us know in the comment section. It'll be great to hear what you think, and it'll be great to have some of your questions coming through.
L: Absolutely.
A: So, until next time.
L: See you next time.
L/A: Bye!

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