L: Hello again and welcome back to Britain under the microscope. Hello, Anlan.
A: Hello everybody.
L: Last time we were taking about the queen, actually there is a lot of coverage about the royal wedding. Prince Harry just got married.
A: Yeah, to an American actress.
L: So how about we talk about weddings in the UK? Let's see how it is different or it is similar to Chinese weddings in some aspects. So in English you do say "To get married" to have a wedding. Are there any other phrases that we have a lot of ways to say when two people come together?
A: Yeah, the most common is "To get married", so you get married, to be married, so when you say "I'm married" that means I have a husband or wife. But, there are a few informal expressions to say get married. You can say "to tie the knot".
L: To tie the knot, K-N-O-T. So it's like tying two people together, I guess it's a little bit like“永结同心”, anything else?
A: You can also say"walk down the aisle"
L: Oh, I hear that a lot. What does that mean aisle, is an aisle like “通道”
A: Yeah, so the aisle is the aisle in a church. So you walk down the aisle to get married. So you walked for the entrance to the altar, to the area where the priest is.
L: And then you walk down the aisle as married man and wife.
A: Yeah.
L: Now in china, we have our own ceremony. Some of Chinese couples would like a western ceremony others would do a traditional Chinese ceremony. What kind of ceremonies would English people generally have?
A: There are two main ceremonies. You have the religious ceremony which if youare Christian, it's held in church and it's done by priest. But, now it's becoming more common to have a civil ceremony.
L: Civil means nonreligious.
A: Yeah, Civil ceremony is held in a registry, government office, or it can be held in a hotel, in a stately home sometimes as well. The ceremony is quiet similar, but there are no religious on the tone. There is nothing religious in that ceremony. And this is done by a registrar.
L: What is a registrar? Someone who registers you?
A: Yeah, the registrar is a government employee who has the right to marry you.
L: OK, I have a question. In china, people just go to these offices, you just basically go to a window, and get your certificates stamped. But you actually have to hire registrar to come out.
A: You have to hire a registrar. As I said, we do have a registry office which is a government building. And then normally very nice old stately homes that become government offices. And people go there to get married. But there's nothing like the Chinese start of a registry in your marriage and you are gonna go to a window, like a bank.
L: That is because our ceremony and the signing of the legal certificate, they usually happened on different dates.
A: Not in England, so the legal and ceremony happened exactly the same time.
L: So on your wedding day, this is the day actually you get legally married (yeah) in religious and in civil ceremony.
A: Yeah, absolutely.
L: That is very different. So when you talk about wedding, obviously you have the bride and the groom, who else?
A: Well, first of all, if you go to a wedding, you will have the Ushers. The ushers help organize everyone that's because normally the friends of the bride sit on one side, and the friends of groom sit on the other side.
L: So this is like an organizer.
A: Yeah, and then for the bride, you have the maid of honor.
L: I believed a lot of our listener will all watch all these TVs and the movies, and they hear bridesmaid, so what is the different between the maid of honor and bridesmaid?
A: The maid of honor is the head bridesmaid, 最主要的伴娘 so a maid of honor is normally a friend or relative, is un-married, if they are married then they are a matron of honor.
L: So you allow a married woman to play that role. (yeah) In china you just can't, you have to be unmarried. (yeah) So in England, even if you are married, you can still be the head of bridesmaid, but you are not maid, you are matron of honor.
A: Yeah, but generally the bridesmaid themself they are going to be unmarried.
L: So this is women on the bride's side. What about on the groom's side.
A: So, on the groom's side, of course you have the best man. The best man is generally the best friend of the groom, and his responsibility is to be there for the groom, especially the groom starts in nervous or getting cold feet, moral support and also very importantly, he looks after the rings.
L: Oh, yes. You see those in movies and TVs, they are the bearer of the rings.
A: And the very important man that takes apart in the ceremony is the father of the bride.
L: Of course.
A: He has to walk the bride down the aisle and give away the bride,
L: To give her away to her new husband.
A: Yeah, so the father of the bride would walk her down the aisle and hand the bride over to the groom and the ceremony begins.
L: It's a heart-breaking moment for dad. So what happens at a wedding ceremony, we just talked about all these important people at the wedding. But what happens?
A: When everyone enters the church or enters the maid room including the groom, the music would start, and the groom would be waiting at the front, and the bride walks down the aisle. Generally the groom will not look around as the bride is coming down the aisle.
L: Uh … why's that, is he not allowed to see her?
A: Yes, pretty much.
L: That's considered bad luck, isn't it?
A: It's a bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony.
L: So you literally see her when the father of the bride hand her to you.
A: Yeah, and then the priest or the registrar will begin the service.
L: And you probably would recognize a lot of the words from the film or the TV shows, this is where they exchange their vows,
A: Yeah, And a lot of words people in English speaking country can recognize instantly, but they are return in an older form of English. For example, lots of films and a lot of TV shows they always have the scene where the registrar or the priest asked does anyone and any lawful impediment.
L: Sounds like a mouthful. So any lawful impediment means who think they shouldn't be married?
A: Yeah, that's always a pause.
L: To wait to see if anyone objects.
A: So generally in films, it's always the ex-lover of either the bride or the groom that comes in, and says "I do,I have objections"
L: Very dramatic.
A: Very dramatic.
L: But usually it doesn't happen
A: Usually doesn't happen, but I think people still get a little bit nervous at that time.
L: OK, what about the vows, the actual vows. V-O-W-S this is like promise they change. I think people are very familiar with the in sickness and in health, what is that?
A: That is a traditional vow we would say "I take you as my husband/wife for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part."
L: Till death do us part, beautiful vows.
A: But apart from the vows, they also have to say these words as well. It's a legal obligation to say these words. There are several versions, but this is the most traditional.
L: "I do solemnly declare, that I know not of any lawful impediment why I (and said my name) may not be joined in matrimony to (my husband's full name)." After exchanging vows, and then registrar or the priest would say "you can kiss the bride", right?
A: Yeah, the registrar or the priest would say "I now proclaim you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride" and that is the ceremony finished.
L: Is that the time they will sign the legal document?
A: Yeah, so as we said before, it's all the same occasion. So after the ceremony, the bride and groom and witnesses would have to sign wedding certificate. And they are given this at the end of ceremony and that shows that they are legally married.
L: It's not just the bride and the groom if I remember. In Britain, you also need witnesses like their friends or families, right?
A: Yes, you need two witnesses.
L: They can be anyone?
A: They can be anyone. So sometimes in TV shows or films, if they are rush in a wedding, they might grab a witness from the streets.
L: Like a stranger?
A: Like a stranger, it doesn't matter who.
L: We are going to the dramatic again.
A: Yeah.
L: At Chinese wedding, usually after the ceremony you start eating. Is that the same in the UK?
A: Nope, first of all, you have to leave the venue, so that means you have to leave the hotel leave the room or leave the church. And this is when people would throw confettior rice for good luck over the couple.
L: Confetti or rice, an interesting tradition, did people still do that?
A: Lesser with rice, because unfortunately if you throw rice, birds eat it and they can't digest it.
L: And they will die.
A: And they die, so they stop throwing rice now. Then you will have the photos, this is one difference between Britain and China. The Photos are general done on the day.
L: Oh, we do photos on the day. But generally, couples would also do some extremely photo shopped photo on another day.
A: Yes, we don't do that in England. It's only the photos on the day.
L: Usually everything is very natural.
A: And then after that the bride would throw her bouquet. We say that whoever catches the bouquet will be the first person to get married.
L: And then you have the wedding banquet, like the big meal, like in China.
A: We do have a diner, but this is called the reception, so first of all, you have a diner for everyone that came to the ceremony. You have the toasts where the groom, the father of the bride, will make speeches after the diner, and also you have the best man. He would make a speech as well.
L: So basically, there are men would make speeches, no women?
A: It's not traditional for a woman to make a speech, but it is becoming more common now.
L: So first the groom, and then father of the bride, and then best man.
A: Yeah, but the best man's speech, it's a little bit different. Because the aim of their speech is to make fun of the groom, so they make jokes about the groom, they normally praise the bride, but they tried to make the groom as embarrassed as possible.
L: I think you see that a lot in TV shows and movies.
A: The dinner and the toasts sometimes there are quiet formal, but many occasions there are quiet informal in a way that people are always making jokes. It's a happy occasion.
L: I think it's the same in China depends on what kind of people your family are really.
A: Oh, yep. Then you cut the cake, and then I would say the biggest difference between China and UK is after the dinner you have a party.
L: Because in china, it's usually the dinner or the lunch, that's it. After the banquet everybody goes home. So a party? What kind of party, like music?
A: They will be a dancing, there will normally be a DJ, there will be a disco, everyone has lots of drinks. The bride and groom start this by having their first dance.
L: As husband and wife.
A: As husband and wife.
L: That's why a lot of people practice their dance skills, even for people who don't know how to dance. (Yeah) They will practice for their wedding.
A: And then the party will continue until quite late, around midnight probably.
L: So it's a whole day event essentially.
A: This is the thing that surprises me when I first came to china, I went to my first Chinese wedding where it started at 12 o'clock and it finished at 1:30 pm. In Britain, the wedding would start maybe at 11 o'clock and wouldn't finish until midnight.
L: Oh, you must be disappointed. So you went to a friend's wedding, and you are ready for a big party and everyone just left.
A: Everyone just left. And I couldn't believe it.
L: I guess that is the cultural differences.
A: Absolutely.
L: So that's a lot about wedding ceremonies in the UK. In the advanced episode, we are gonna expand that and probably move on to the topic of marriage.
A: So stay tune for the next episode which is gonna be advanced, and we are gonna be talking a lot about marriage in the UK, the different styles of marriage, and what marriage life is like for the average British person.
L: So in the meantime, if you have anything that you would like to comment on to share, please leave your comment in the comment section or join in our group.
A: So until next time.
L: See you next time.
A: Bye.
L: Bye.
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