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Okay. And what's your worst accent? Literally the rest of them, but probably Australia's probably the worst one.
好吧。你最糟糕的口音是什么？老实说，在其他国家中就澳式英语口音可能说的最糟糕。
Put those shrimp on the barbie. Oh wait, actually that was so good, you thought you were down under didn't you?
把那些虾放到烤肉架上。哦，等等，其实你说得很好，你以为你被打倒了，是吗？
Amazing. Thought I was there. In Sydney. Okay, when were you most starstruck?
太神奇了。我以为我在悉尼。好吧，你什么时候感到最震惊？
The other day I literally almost ran into Oprah.
前几天我差点撞上奥普拉。
I turned a corner of my head, her boobs, it was almost a whole thing.
我转了转我的头，她的胸部，这是一个非常复杂的情况，你可能知道其中的细节。
Who would you love to have a beer with? Queen Elizabeth the First.
你想和谁一起喝啤酒？伊丽莎白女王一世。
Not only does she have red hair, she's also always been single and she like ruled the whole world.
她不仅有一头红头发，而且一直单身，她喜欢统治整个世界。
She's pretty amazing. Okay this is a random one,
她太迷人了。好吧，这个问题很随机，
but who would you drive past, even if they were stranded on a desert highway?
你开车的时候碰到过谁，即使他们被困在沙漠公路上？
I would say any man I don't know personally and a lot of the men I do.
我想说的是任何一个陌生人，还有很多我认识的人。
Okay so I noticed you have some press over here. What's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said?
好吧，我看到一些关于你的杂志。别人说过的最好的话是什么？
I mean Letterman complimented me which was super cool.
我是说莱特曼称赞我太酷了。
Alright, do you pay attention to critics? Only the one in my head,
好吧，你注意到批评者了吗？在我脑海里只有一个批评者，
which is way worse than anything anyone can say about me.
他对我说的话比任何人都要糟糕。
And how would you describe your comedy style? Full of jokes.
你觉得你的喜剧风格怎么样？充满了笑话。
Okay. Where's the best place in the world to do standup?
好吧。世界上最适合单口喜剧的地方是哪里？
Comedy Cellar, of course. Favorite city to perform in?
当然，Comedy Cellar。最喜欢在哪个城市巡演？
Other than New York, either San Francisco, Denver, or Madison, Wisconsin.
除了纽约，还有旧金山，丹佛，麦迪逊，威斯康辛州。
Madison is so beautiful but you gotta pace yourself on the cheese.
麦迪逊是如此美丽，但你必须调整自己的奶酪口味。
Who is the most underrated comic right now? Joe List.
现在谁是最被低估的喜剧演员？Joe List。
And what should aspiring comedians avoid in their careers?
有抱负的喜剧演员在他们的职业生涯中应该避免什么？
Thanks Jon. You're welcome. Being lazy. Alright,
多谢乔恩。不客气。应该避免懒惰。好吧，
ladies and gentlemen this is it! Look at this place!
女士们先生们，到了！你看这地方！
Michelle Wolf has arrived. It's amazing! How does it feel? Overwhelmingly great.
米歇尔·沃尔夫来了。太不可思议了！感觉怎样？非常棒。
Amazing. Can I take a shot of you right behind your desk?
不可思议。我能在桌子后面给你照张相吗？
Yeah of course. Come on. Perfect. Okay, now from working on other shows,
是啊，当然可以，别这样。完美。好了，从制作其他节目开始，
what lessons have helped prep you for your own? Never settle.
在为自己做准备的过程中，有哪些教训帮助到你？永不停息。
This is gonna be a good shot. Here we go. say something on three. One, two, three. Smokey eye.
这将是一个很好的机会。好了。数到三时说点什么吧。一，二，三。烟熏妆。
What's made you the most proud? HBO special.
是什么让你最自豪？HBO电视专场节目。
Yeah your HBO special's called "Nice Lady"; Do you consider yourself to be a nice lady?
是的，你在HBO电视专场节目叫做《Nice Lady》喜剧片；你认为自己是个好女人吗？
Not at all. Now you had a character called Grown Up Annie. Where is she now?
完全不是。现在你有了一个叫“成长中的安妮”的角色。她现在在哪？
She's a member of Trump's cabinet, she's actually the most qualified person that works there.
她是特朗普内阁的成员，实际上她在工作方面是最称职的。
What's the difference between Michelle Wolf the performer and Michelle Wolf the person?
演员角色的米歇尔·沃尔夫和实际本人有什么不同？
We're pretty much the same. I start all my conversations with, "You guys hear about this?"; My friends hate me.
几乎是一样的。我所有的对话都是从“你们听说了吗？”开始的；我的朋友们都讨厌我。
What do you hope for yourself five years from now?
五年后你希望自己变成什么样？
Um, to be better than I am now. What do you hope for America five years from now?
嗯，比我现在好多就行了。你对五年后的美国有哪些期待？
To be less racist. Come on guys. Try like a little. What does it mean to be an American today?
少点种族歧视。快点伙计们。稍微试一下。如今作为一个美国人意味着什么？
Always having to say,"I am so sorry about that. Oh so sorry."; What does it mean to be a woman today?
总是不得不说，“我很抱歉。哦，非常抱歉。”；如今作为一个女人意味着什么？
Conflicting. It's like, do you post a picture of your naked butt or do you become a scientist,
相互矛盾。就像，你发过你裸露屁股的照片还是去成为一名科学家，
Can you do both of those things? Are we even allowed to discuss this?
你能同时做这两件事吗？我们可以讨论这个问题吗？
What does it mean to be an American female comedian today?
如今成为一个美国女喜剧演员意味着什么？
I mean, for me, pretty great. Yeah, this worked out well for you.
我是说，对我来说，非常好。是啊，你做得很好。
Okay. Now you've worked in biochemistry, can you tell me something biochemical, that I most likely will not understand?
好吧。现在你从事于生物化学了，你能告诉我一些关于生物化学的东西吗？
Okay, get ready, it's exciting. Did you know that molecular dynamics can be used to study proteins, enzymes and kinases?
好了，准备好了，太刺激了。你知道分子动力学可以用来研究蛋白质、酶和激酶吗？
Oh my god. The more you know. Now you worked on Wall Street-- Mm-hmm.
哦，天哪。你知道的更多了。现在你在华尔街工作--嗯哼。
Can you give me a metaphor for working on Wall Street, in circa 2008?
你能给我一个关于2008年左右在华尔街工作的比喻吗？
Yeah it's like being a violin player on the deck of the Titanic and then get rescued by a carnival cruise ship,
是啊，就像在泰坦尼克号的甲板上的小提琴手，然后被一艘嘉年华游轮救了出来，
that was paid for by taxpayers. On that note… it's time to wind down this interview.
那是由纳税人支付的。基于这一点……是时候结束这次采访了。
Michelle, what's a video in the past week that you've not been able to stop watching?
米歇尔，过去一周你一直在看的视频是什么？
Ah, Sydney McLaughlin winning the 400 meter hurdles at SEC.
哦，Sydney McLaughlin赢得SEC户外女子400米栏冠军。
You guys, she's a phenom! Now if you look into your imaginary audience, who's the one person that you'd love to see the most?
伙计们，她是个天才！现在，如果你能看想象中的观众，你最想看到的人是谁？
Oh my god, if there was a bunch of otters holding hands, I would lose it.
哦，天哪，如果有一群水獭牵着手，我就会失去它。
And who's your musical sidekick for your show? Oh, we got DJ Jerzy. He's one of the best DJ's in all New Jersey.
你的音乐搭档是谁？噢，我们有DJ Jerzy。他是全新泽西州最好的打碟者之一。
What's style of song are you most likely gonna be walking out to?
你的哪种风格的歌最有可能流行起来？
Something upbeat and fun and sort of hip hop, that's probably way too cool for me.
一些欢快、有趣和嘻哈的东西，对我来说可能太酷了。
What three people would you invite to a dinner party, dead or alive?
你会邀请哪三个人来参加晚宴，不管是去世还是在世的？
Well Queen Elizabeth the First,'cause I already brought her back and she doesn't have any other friends.
伊丽莎白女王一世，因为我已经想到是她了，她没有其他朋友。
Carol Burnett and Ina Garten. How do you know when you've nailed a performance?
卡洛尔·伯纳特和艾娜·加藤。你是怎么知道你的巡演举办成功了？
When Dennis Miller gives you notes about it. Alright, and last question I have for you is,
丹尼斯·米勒会给你一些提示。好吧，最后一个问题是，
what is your favorite punchline? No dice, squirrel man. Okay. That concludes our interview.
你最喜欢的笑点是什么？没门儿，松鼠人。好吧。我们的采访到此结束。
Michelle Wolf- You guys, you can't conclude an interview without going through an alarm door.
米歇尔·沃尔夫，你们这些家伙，你们不能不按门铃就结束采访。
Are you sure about this? Bye bye! No, I can't.
你确定是那样吗？再见，再见！不，我不能确定。
