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课程简介：
我们来到这个世上，到底追求什么才是最重要的？他坚定地认为：幸福感是衡量人生的唯一标准，是所有目标的最终目标。塔尔博士在哈佛学生中享有很高的声誉，受到学生们的爱戴与敬仰，被誉为"最受欢迎讲师"和"人生导师"。
adv. 潜在地
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- And the key here is to accept that it will always be part of one's life and then to say,
- 所以现在的关键就是接受它一直都是我们生活的一部分这个事实
- all right, so what do I do now? In other words, it is about then taking action. Behavior.
- 然后问 “好的 那我该怎么办？” 换句话说就是采取行动
- So for example, it's about coping, putting ourselves on the line.
- 所以举例来说 就是怎么应对 把自己置于线上
- What I did initially, when I first realized that perfectionism and my defensiveness,
- 我最初所做的 在我留意到我的完美主义与自卫性的时候
- I would go out of my way and solicit criticism. And I would ask people, "so you know give me feedback about it."
- 我会撇开我的做法并且请求批评 我会问别人“给我点反馈吧”
- And when I received negative feedback, things that were actually deviations from the straight line,
- 当我收到负面的反馈的时候 和我的直线有所偏离的时候
- I literally held myself from you know pouncing back.
- 我就阻止自己回击
- You know the best form of defenses is attack very often for perfectionist.
- 你们也知道 对于完美主义者来说最好的防守就是进攻
- And slowly I got used to it. And I became far less defensive.
- 慢慢地我就习惯了 我没那么有自卫性了
- And I was able to create much higher levels of intimacy.
- 我得以创造更高层次的亲密关系
- Or I put myself on the line in other areas, where I potentially would experience a no.
- 或者我开始尝试别的领域 那里我可能会遭到否定
- So let me end with a quick story. Her name is Brittaney. She was a show girl. At least to me she was.
- 让我以一个故事来结尾吧 她的名字叫布列塔尼 她是一个展场女郎 至少我这么认为
- We met freshman week. And we really hit it off. We spent almost the entire freshman week out.
- 我们在大学第一周时认识 我对她一见钟情 我们几乎整个第一周都在一起
- And at the end of the freshman week, wanting to overcome my perfectionism,
- 到那一周的周末 为了克服我的完美主义
- I asked her out. And she said no. It surprised me, def me, hurt me. But she said no.
- 我约她出来 她拒绝了 这让我很吃惊 很受伤 但是她确实拒绝了
- My sophomore year, we met again. And again, I asked her out. And this time she said no.
- 在大学第二年 我们又见面了 我再次约她出来 她又拒绝了
- Junior year, toward the end of my junior year, I dated someone.
- 第三年 在年末的时候 我和另一个人约会了
- So Brittaney was out of the equation. And then we met again-my senior year.
- 所以布列塔尼就出局了 然后我们又见面了 在我大四的时候
- We had an amazing conversation. By that time I already studied psychology.
- 我们谈了些有趣的话题 那时候我已经开始学习心理学了
- I could also read her body language. She did a lot of this with her hair.
- 我也可以读懂她的身体语言 她经常这么弄她的头发
- And I knew that she really liked me. And I asked her out. And she said no.
- 然后我知道她确实很喜欢我 然后我约她出来 她拒绝了
- And I'm still here with you. And that was an important learning process.
- 然后我就还留在这里和你们在一起 这就是个很重要的学习过程
- Learn to fail or fail to learn. I'll see you in next week.
- 学会失败 或败于学习 我们下周见
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