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I can feel the holiday spirit. Christmas is coming, whether we're ready for it or not.
我已经感受到圣诞气息了 圣诞节要到了 不管我们有没有准备好
Last night in Washington Nancy PelosI roasted the president's chestnuts. Pretty good.
昨晚在华盛顿 南希·佩洛西(民主党领袖)烤了总统的栗子 很优秀
It was er democrats in the House made Donald Trump only the third person, president ever to be impeached.
众议院的民主党人让唐纳德·特朗普成了史上第三位被弹劾的总统
This morning he woke up on the floor next to his tanning bed and tweeted the words:
今天早上他在自己的日光浴床 旁边的地板上醒来后 开始发推特：
I got impeached last might.
我昨晚被弹劾了(night)
Yes, and our long national mightmare.
是的 是美国久久不息的噩梦(nightmare)
Continues. Not a single republican voted for impeachment, which means they really like Donald Trump or really hate Mike Pence.
继续看 没有一个共和党成员投票赞成弹劾 这说明他们真的喜欢唐纳德·特朗普 或者真的讨厌迈克·彭斯(美国副总统)
I don't know which, but the debate went on well into the night. Trump was in Battle Creek Michigan when the vote happened, pepping himself up with a rally.
我不知道 但是辩论一直开展到深夜 投票进行的时候 特朗普正在密歇根州的巴特尔克里克 开群众大会给自己打气
And this is what the president was talking about while this historic impeachment vote was coming in.
以下就是总统在面对这次历史性的弹劾投票时所说的话
The dish washers, the dish washer, right? You press it. ~the dish washer you press it, boom, it would be like an explosion.
洗碗机 洗碗机 对吧 你按一下 你按一下洗碗机 嘣 像爆炸一样
Five minutes later, you open it up, the steam pours out, the dishes.
五分钟后 你打开它 蒸汽涌出来 盘子~
Now you press it 12 times.
现在你已经按了12次
Women tell me, again, you know, they give you four drops of water, and they're in places where there's so much water they don't know what to do with it.
女人们又告诉我 你知道 她们给你四滴水 她们那里要被水淹了 她们不知所措
Yeah, okay, grandpa, I have to hang up the phone now.
嗯嗯 好的爷爷 我得挂电话了
Women tell me about the dish washer. Why would women tell you about the dish washer?
女人们告诉我洗碗机的事儿 女人们为什么要告诉你洗碗机的事儿
Trump also lashed out at representative Debbie Dingell from Michigan.
特朗普还激烈抨击了密歇根州的众议员黛比·丁格尔
Debbie Dingell is the widow of World War II veteran, a long-time congresswoman.
黛比·丁格尔是二战老兵的遗孀 长期担任国会议员
John Dingell is very popular. He died in February.
约翰·丁格尔受人爱戴 他于2月份逝世
Trump last night at the rally made a joke, suggesting that congressman Dingell went to hell because his wife voted for impeachment.
特朗普昨晚在群众大会上开了个玩笑 暗示让国会议员丁格尔下地狱 因为他的妻子投了赞成弹劾票
Trump believes that since he graciously allowed the flags at federal buildings to be lower to half-mast to honor Debbie Dingell.
特朗普认为 因为他曾善良地允许联邦大楼降半旗以纪念黛比·丁格尔
His widow should showed her appreciation by voting not to impeach.
所以他的遗孀应该投不赞成弹劾票来表示感激
In other words, another quid pro quo. What do you think?
换句话说 又是一种你来我往 对不对
He really doesn't seem to know what he's in.
他好像真不太知道自己在做什么
Maybe that's why he's so angry.
这大概就是他如此愤怒的原因
He did a lot of ranting and raving last night.
他昨晚话痨发作
So we slowed him down to half speed for a shocking personal revelation in tonight's episode of drunk Donald Trump.
我们把他的语速放慢了一半 今晚本集的醉酒版唐纳德·特朗普 透露了一个惊人的真相
My wife thinks I'm a loser.
我的妻子认为我是个失败者
Might be the first true thing he said all year.
这可能是他整整一年来说的第一句实话
Got it in just under the wire.
估计会传遍大街小巷
The president is so desperate for approval, this morning he replied to a tweet that called him the best president ever, even though this tweet was posted in september of last year.
总统非常渴望得到认可 今儿早他回复了一条推文 推文称他是有史以来最棒的总统 虽然这是条2018年9月发布的推文
Somehow you found it in 14 months later.
你是怎么在14个月之后发现这条推文的
I don't know if he searched the words "best president ever", and that's what came up. Maybe it's a backup.
大概是搜索了关键字“有史以来最好的总统” 然后就出来了这条推文 也有可能是水军
But this is like digging up old love letters and going, wow, this chick's got the hots for me.
这就像把旧情书翻出来然后说 哇 这姑娘对我有意思
This is the president's calendar for the day.
这是总统一天的日程安排
His official calendar at 4:15 and 8:15, the president and the first lady deliver remarks at a christmas reception.
他的官方日程 4:15和8:15 总统和第一夫人在一个圣诞接待会上发表讲话
That's it. No meetings or tweetings today.
就这样 今天没有会议 也没有要发推特
Some seven nearly-forgotten democrats take the stage on los angeles tonight for debate number six.
今晚 七名几乎被遗忘的民主党人在洛杉矶进行第六场辩论
Good luck to them because all they're doing with these debates is throwing fuel on the comedy Inferno known as Mike Pence.
祝他们好运 因为他们对这些辩论所做的一切都是在为喜剧《地狱》 又名迈克·彭斯 火上浇油
Going to watch that debate?
去看那场辩论吗？
I mean, it was kind of hard to watch.
我的意思是 看的话会很纠结
I mean, those people were standing so far on the left I thought that stage was going to flip over.
我的意思是 那些人站得那么靠左 我以为舞台要翻了
Democratic party has gone so far to the left I think that stage is probably going to about turn over.
民主党站得太靠左了 我觉得舞台可能要翻掉
In that last debate I saw on TV, those people were standing so far on the left I thought that stage was going to tip over.
我在电视上看最后一场辩论的时候 那些人都站在左边 我以为舞台要翻了
Those people were standing so far on the left side of that stage I thought it was going to tip over.
那些人都站在舞台的最左边 我觉得舞台要翻倒了
Mean those people were standing so far on the left I thought that stage was going to tip over.
那些人站在左边这么远的地方 我以为舞台要翻倒了
That's what happens when you forget to reboot him.
又忘记重启了
