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Two words, snail slime, snail slime.
两个词，蜗牛粘液，还是蜗牛粘液。
Snails love their own slime, which is actually their mucus.
蜗牛是很喜欢它们自己的粘液，也就是它们的分泌物的。
It helps them defy gravity and move at a snail's pace. Bad cliché.
这种粘液能够帮助它们克服重力，以蜗牛般的速度爬行。这个梗早就老掉牙了。
But humans also love snail slime for its nutrient-rich properties.
问题是，人类也很喜欢蜗牛的粘液，因为它富含营养。
This began thousands of years ago when ancient Romans and Greeks gave snails free rein to roam their faces.
早在数千年前，古罗马和古希腊人就会让蜗牛在他们的脸上自由地爬来爬去。
No more redness, no more wrinkles for our classical ancestors.
爬完之后，我们那些古典时期的祖先们脸上的红肿消失了，皱纹也不见了。
That is kinda off topic, Simone,
有点跑题了，西蒙
but now that you're here, I think we should segue to your introduction.
不过，既然你来都来了，那接下来你还是做个自我介绍吧。
He's being modest.
他这是在谦虚。
Simone is an inventor and a snail savior.
他可是发明家，同时也是蜗牛的救世主。
Before he invented his snail slime extraction machine,
在他发明出他的蜗牛粘液提取机之前，
the only way to collect mass quantities of snail slime resulted in the snail's death, not anymore.
收集完大量的蜗牛黏液，蜗牛就会死去。往后再也不会出现这种情况了。
We begin in the fields.
我们先从地里说起吧。
After munching for 14 months, snails are plucked, washed, and brought to Simone's machine, the Muller One.
在地里生长了14个月之后，蜗牛会被从植物上摘下来，清洗干净，然后送到西蒙的机器——马勒一号里。
Sidebar, snails secrete slime for three reasons: to move, out of stress, and for pleasure.
旁注：蜗牛只会在三种情况下分泌粘液——爬行的时候，感觉到压力的时候以及感觉到愉悦的时候。
Simone calls his machine a spa for snails
西蒙称自己的机器是在给蜗牛做水疗，
because it pleasures them with a secret spray to the point that they secrete a lot of slime.
因为他用的一种秘密的喷剂会让蜗牛感到很愉悦，继而分泌出大量的粘液。
If you don't talk metric, I'll translate.
如果你那边用的不是公制单位，我可以给你翻译一下。
That's as much as seven pounds of slime from one batch.
差不多就是一锅就能收集到足足7磅的粘液。
After that, the slime is extracted, dehydrated, rehydrated, and then refined here for use in cosmetics.
在那之后，他们会把粘液提取出来，脱水，重新水化，然后在这里提纯，再加到化妆品里。
Here it is being bottled, and then it's off to your face.
现在是在灌装，再然后，就到你脸上啦。
Best slime in the world.
全世界最好的蜗牛粘液。
Simone, if being bold is wrong, we don't want to be right.
西蒙，如果自信也有错的话，我们也不想正确了。
