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And now, President Donald Trump. Thank you. Thank me. Thank me very much.
下面是特朗普总统，谢谢你，谢谢我，非常感谢我。
You're all very happy that I'm here at the United Nations. I mean, wow.
你们都对我来到联合国表示高兴，我知道哦，
Just look at all of the room full of diverse cultures and ethnicities.
看看人满为患的房间，来自不同文化和种族的人。
Seriously, it's like the scariest college brochure I've ever seen.
认真地说，这是我见过的最恐怖的大学手册。
But I know what you're all thinking, it's so great to be here with me for the last 4 to 6 hours of my presidency.
但我知道你们都是怎么想的，和我在一起很高兴，我的总统之旅只剩下最后的4-6个小时。
Who knew? You make one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader,
谁知道呢？你打了一通电话，勒索一名外国领导人，
and everyone acts like you made one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader.
然后所有人的反应是，你打了一通电话，勒索一名外国领导人。
I guess it's like the old saying. Collude once, shame on you. Collude twice, why not collude a third time?
我想就像老话说的，密谋一次，我太无耻了，密谋两次，为什么不密谋三次？
But now it looks like my whistle's been blown, and not in the good way.
但现在看起来我的哨子被吹响了，而且是不好的那种。
It was a low-down blow-down. And now I'll have to face off against America's least-fun grandma, Nancy Pelosi.
这是一次不真实的被判，我现在要面对美国最没情趣的奶奶，佩洛西。
That's right. Nancy's gone totally Ukraine in the membrane. But, luckily, she has no evidence against me,
没错，佩洛西的细胞膜都完全乌克兰化了，但幸运的是，她没有我的证据，
only calls and transcripts and the fist pump I just gave the Ukrainian president on my way up here. Hey, what's up, buddy?
只有电话和文稿，还有我来联合国的路上给乌克兰总统祝贺的拳头，咋了，什么事兄弟？
But unfairly for me, Ukraine isn't my only big no-no this week.
但不公正地将，乌克兰不是我本周最大的禁忌。
Apparently, people are still mad because I left yesterday's climate summit after just 15 minutes. But, honestly, folks,
显然，人们依然很生气，因为我在气候峰会开始15分钟后就走了，但说真的朋友们，
how do you expect me to believe in global warming when they just filmed the second Frozen movie?
你又如何让我相信全球变暖，如果他们只拍摄了第二部《冰雪奇缘》。
I mean, seriously, let it go. But, anyway, back to The Witch Hunt: Season 3. I just want to..
我的意思是，说认真的，让它这样吧，但无论如何，回到《政治迫害第三季》，我只是想...
All my supporters, I want them all to just relax, okay? Because as hard as people try to impeach me,
所有我的支持者，我只是想让他们放松下里，好吗？因为看着人们那么努力弹劾我，
I'll always be one step ahead of them, trying to impeach me harder. But, anyway, in collusion...
我会永远比他们快一步，更努力地弹劾我，但无论如何，勾结问题，
America's the greatest country on Earth, Ukraine owes me a serious fave, and you might call it climate change,
美国是世界上最伟大的国家，乌克兰欠我一个大人情，你或许会称之为气候变化，
but I call it Hot Girl Summer. Oh, and one more thing. The Tonight Show is coming to you live from New York City!
但我称之为《夏日辣妹》，哦还有一件事，今夜秀将会在纽约现场直播！
Let's start the show, baby! Come on!
开始表演吧，来吧！
