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Occasionally, I would hear a familiar voice, and that brought some comfort.
有时，我会听到一个熟悉的声音，那会给我带来一些舒适。
Whenever Sean came into the room, he would call out, "Hey, honey, I'm here."
每当肖恩进到房间里，他都会大喊，“嘿，亲爱的，我在这里。”
I know that only because he has told me so since then, not because I remember it.
我之所以知道那件事，只是因为从那时起他就这样告诉我，而不是因为我记得这件事。
He says I would open my eyes and look around like I was looking right through him.
他说我会睁开眼睛，环顾四周，就像我正透过他看一样。
I was too out of it to think, Oh, that's Sean, but I did sense the familiarity.
我太迷糊了，无法思考，奥，那是肖恩。但是我感受到了那种熟悉。
I relished when someone would hold my hand, stroke my head, or comb my hair.
当有人握着我的手，抚摸我的头或者梳我的头发时，我很享受。
That was the good part. The dreams were the bad part. Over and over, I had graphic nightmares about being attacked.
这是好的部分。噩梦则是不好的部分。一次又一次，我做了自己被攻击的噩梦。
I now know that the dreams came when the nurses were cleaning my wounds.
我现在知道了，当护士们清理我的伤口时，我就会做这些噩梦。
Although I was heavily sedated, my blood pressure would spike, and they would see my face grimacing.
尽管我服用了大量镇静剂，但是我的血压也会飙升，他们会看到我脸上痛苦的表情。
Even in that state, I recognized the pain, but I couldn't process it, so my brain turned it into the only thing that made sense: assault.
即使是在那个状态，我都能感觉到痛苦，但是我不能处理它，所以我的大脑把它转变成唯一合理的事情：攻击。
In mid-November, with my body stabilized, I was moved to the Gaylord Specialty Healthcare facility in Wallingford, Connecticut, to begin physical therapy.
11月中旬，身体稳定下来后，我被转移到了康涅狄格州沃林福德的盖洛德专业医疗机构，开始接受物理治疗。
It was my next ring of hell. My therapists wanted me to try to walk with a walker.
这是我下一个地狱之旅。我的治疗师想让我试着用助行器走路。
It was difficult and painful and, for someone who had considered herself an athlete, disheartening.
这是艰难而痛苦的，对于某个曾认为自己是运动员的人来说，是沮丧的。
I just couldn't do it." Am I ever going to walk normally again?" I asked. "We don't know, but we're going to work on it," the therapist said.
我做不到。“我还能不能正常走路？”我问道。“我们不知道，但是我们得努力恢复。”治疗师说。
They were so damn honest. What pulled me out of my funk was remembering a speech I'd heard by Nobel Prize laureate Jody Williams.
他们太诚实了。使我从恐惧中走出来的是想起诺贝尔奖得主乔迪·威廉姆斯的一次演讲。
In it, she said, "Emotion without action is irrelevant." She was right. Screw this, I thought. There has to be a reason I'm still alive.
她在演讲里说，“没有行动的情感是无关痛痒的。”她是对的。去他的，我想。我还活着一定是有原因的。
All this wasted emotion feeling miserable for myself needed a direction.
所有这些为自己感到痛苦的浪费掉的情感需要一个方向。
The direction I chose was gratitude. I thought of all the people who had saved my life.
我选择的方向是感激。我想到了所有拯救我生命的人。
The strangers who ran to my side after the truck hit me; the doctors and nurses who brought me back from death more than once;
卡车撞到我后跑到我身边的陌生人；不止一次把我从死亡中拯救出来的医生和护士；
the staff at Gaylord who were doggedly helping me walk again and relearn basic tasks.
盖洛德的工作人员坚持不懈地帮助我重新行走，重新学习基本的活动。
And then there were the strangers who had donated their life-giving blood.
还有哪些捐血给我生命之血的陌生人。
In order for me to receive those 78 units of blood, as well as 25 bags of plasma and platelets,
为了让我接受那78单位的血液，以及25袋血浆和血小板，
more than 125 people had to donate theirs. Suddenly I felt a need to do something to honor them.
超过125人不得不捐出他们的血液。突然，我觉得有必要做点什么来尊敬他们。
