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You guys, this is very exciting. Today is the first day of Fleet Week. That's right.
朋友们，这个太棒了，今天是舰队周的第一天，没错。
Almost 3,000 servicemembers are in New York City while the rest of the Armed Forces are trying to separate Trump and Nancy Pelosi.
近3000名士兵今天出现在了纽约，然后其他士兵们正在试图分裂小特和佩洛西。
That's the big story this morning. Pelosi accused Trump of covering up the Russia investigation.
今天早上有大新闻，佩洛西指责小特隐瞒俄罗斯调查。
And then, when she showed up to a meeting at the White House about infrastructure,
随后，当佩洛西出现在了关于基础设施的白宫会议上时，
Trump was so angry, he walked out after just three minutes.
小特很生气，他刚来三分就就走了。
Pelosi can't be surprised. It's like talking trash about your friend, then showing up to the group brunch, like, Hey, girl!
佩洛西一点也不惊讶，这就很像在讲你朋友的坏话，之后出现在了吃早午餐的人群中，嗨，女孩！
Trump was so upset, he said he won't on anything with Democrats until they stop investigating him.
小特很不安，他说他不会与民主党共事，除非他们停止对他的调查。
The Democrats have a choice, investigate Trump and nothing gets done, or don't investigate Trump and nothing gets done.
民主党有个选择，调查小特，但什么也没做成，或者不调查小特，但也是一事无成。
So, that's your choice. Right after the meeting, Trump went into the Rose Garden and held a press conference
所以这是你的选择，就在会议结束以后，小特进入了玫瑰花园，并举行了发布会，
where he talked about the Democrats trying to impeach him, but he didn't say the word impeachment.
他谈论了民主党试图弹劾他，但他没有说“弹劾”这个词。
Check out what he called it instead. All of a sudden, I hear last night
来看看他是怎么说的，突然我听说昨晚，
they're gonna have a meeting right before this meeting, to talk about the "I" word.
他们将在这次会议之前举行一次会议，讨论“I”这个字。
The "I" word. Can you imagine?
“I”这个字，你能想象吗？
Yeah, you can tell, You can tell when he's mad because his teeth almost fell out.
你可想而知，当他生气时他的牙齿几乎要掉下来了。
This is how he looks. And they can...Let me fix it. Nice face.
这是他的样子，它们可以，让我处理一下，不错的脸庞。
And they can... He sticks it up there, and then he's like, Yeah.
它们可以，他撅起来，他就像这样，没错。
But it's true, Trump called impeachment the I word, yeah. Then he called collusion the K word.
但事实是，小特称弹劾为“I”字，他称密谋是“K”字。
And you go, Well, there's a 'C, Anyway... Some news about the race for 2020 here. I saw that Beto O'Rourke has fallen
因为共谋里面有个“C”字，一些2020年竞选的新闻，听说贝托·奥鲁克从
from third place to eighth. Now Beto's asking experts how to get back up to third.
第三名掉落到第八名，贝托要求专家看看如何回到第三名。
Meanwhile, Bill de Blasio's asking Beto how to get up to eighth, so...
同时，白思豪还在问贝托如何上升到第八名，所以...
Some TV news. I read that lately Jeopardy! has been asking a lot more questions about marijuana and psychedelic drugs.
一些电视新闻，听说近期的节目《危险》问了许多关于大麻和致幻药物的问题。
It's pretty obvious if you look closely. Check out some of the categories from last night's episode.
很明显如果你仔细观察，来看看昨晚这一集的一些类别。
There was, Songs my dealer can play on guitar.
比如说我的贩毒者可以在吉他上弹的歌曲。
What to say to get your medical card, wink wink. Lampshades to hide your bong under.
拿到医疗卡要说什么，眨一眨眼睛，将灯罩隐藏在腋下。
And, of course, Pot-pourri. There you go, yeah. Oh, potpourri.
当然还有香型植物燃料，好吧，哦哦，植物燃料。
Sorry. Yeah, potpourri. Get this, a man in Spokane, Washington, says that he got a bill for a colonoscopy that he never received.
对不起，是植物原料，华盛顿斯波坎市一男子称他收到了一张结肠镜检查账单。
When the insurance company asked, Are you sure? he was like,
保险公司问道，你确定吗？他说
Yeah, I think that's something I would remember, yeah. Sorry. I didn't have one.
没错，我应该记得的，对不起，我没有做过检查。
