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One more thing, a couple of weeks ago I started giving fake lie detector tests to kids.
还有一件事，几个星期前，我对孩子们进行了虚假测谎仪测验。
Guillermo and I... Guillermo is dressed as the Truth Fairy as we called you.
我和吉尔摩……吉尔摩打扮成我们所谓的“实话仙女”。
Umm, we brought some kids in and we hooked them up to a Polygraph machine,
嗯，我们请来了几个孩子，把他们连到测谎仪上，
people seem to like it, so we did it again and this is a young man named: Ethan.
人们好像挺喜欢的，因此，我们又做了个测验，这次是位名叫伊森的小盆友。
Ethan's parents gave me some information about him in advance and I used that information
伊森的父母事先给我提供了一些他的资料，我利用这一资料
to extract the, ah, truth — even a little more than the truth from Ethan, enjoy.
来套出真相——甚至从伊森那里获得了更多的真相，敬请欣赏。
I'm gonna ask you some questions and all you have to do is tell me the absolute truth. Okay? OK.
我要问你一些问题，你要做的就是告诉我大实话，好吗？好的。
Are you capable of doing that? Yes. OK, good, we're gonna start off with your name.
你能做到吗？能。很好，那我们就先从你名字开始。
What is your name? Ethan. Ethan. Very good.
你叫什么名字？伊森。伊森。非常好。
What grade are you in Ethan? Second.
你读几年级了，伊森？二年级。
How old are you? Eight. Eight years old.
你多大了啊？8岁。8岁。
Do you have a girlfriend? No.
你有女票吗？没有。
Hmm, I'm gonna ask again. Do you have a girlfriend? No.
哼，我再问你一遍。你有女票没？没有。
What is your girlfriend's name? Ah, nobody.
你女票叫啥名字啊？额，没有女票。
What is her name? You can tell us — you're among friends. Yeah — tell us! Guy talk. I don't have one.
她叫什么名字？你可以告诉我们——都是自己人。对——告诉我们啊！爷们之间的谈话。我没女票。
We won't tell your mom — tell us! No. This kid is crazy. Yeah.
我们不会跟你麻麻说的——告诉我们啊！就不！这孩子真是疯了。是的。
Alright, let's move on to another topic. Have you ever been in trouble at school? Yes. For what?
好吧，那我们就聊聊别的话题。你在学校遇到过麻烦吗？遇到过？因为啥？
Okay, I went to an inappropriate website because of my friend. She said... A website? Yeah. She said it was a game website.
好吧，因为我的朋友，我登陆过少儿不宜的网站。她说……网站？是的。她说那是游戏网站。
It was a what? A game website. A game website. OK. Yes, but it wasn't.
是什么网站？游戏网站。游戏网站啊。好吧。是的，但那不是游戏网站。
Wow — what it was? Yeah — what it was? Inappropriate...
哇——那是啥网站啊？是啊——那是啥网站？少儿不宜……
Inappropriate — oh, there are naked ladies on it? Yeah. Wow. Oh my goodness.
少儿不宜——哦，那上面是不是有裸女？是的。哇。我滴天。
Did you like looking at that website? No — You've got to be kidding me!
你喜欢浏览那网站吗？不喜欢——你这是在逗我吗？
Just a little bit? No — I didn't like it. Huh.
有那么一点点喜欢？不喜欢——我不喜欢嘛！是吗？
Can we go to another topic?
我们能不能聊聊别的话题？
You wanna go to a different topic? Yeah. Let's get back to your girlfriends. Are there any girls that you like at school?
你想聊聊别的话题？是的。那就再聊聊你女票吧。你在学校喜欢哪个女生呢？
No — How does that machine know all this stuff?
没有喜欢的——这个机器是怎么知道这些事情的？
It just knows, it can tell when you're lying, because something about your body let it know.
它就是知道，你在说谎的时候它就知道，这是因为你身体的征兆让它知道的。
Has any girl ever tried to kiss you at school? No. A little bit? No!
学校里有没有女生亲过你啊？没有。亲过一两口？没啊！
Wow. You're a tough nut to crack! Coconuts crack, I don't crack.
哇。你可真难对付啊！砸的开椰子，但砸不开我。
Coconuts crack? Yeah, they do. Have you done time, where did you come from?
砸的开椰子？对啊，可以砸开。你做过牢啊，你是从哪里蹦出来啊？
How about I ask you some questions?
要不我问你几个问题？
You wanna ask me some questions? Yes.
你要问我问题？是的。
I'd be happy to answer some questions. Okay, go ahead and ask me any questions you want?
我很乐意回答问题。好了，你可以问我任何你想问的问题。
Do you have a girlfriend?
你有女票吗？
Yes, I do have a girlfriend. Just like you do. I don't.
是的，我有女票。就和你一样。我没有。
How — how does that thing even know if I don't have the hat on?
怎么——我都没戴那帽子，那玩意怎么会知道啊？
It can sense you from over here.
它在这就能感应到你。
Have you ever been in jail? No!
你蹲过号子吗？没有！
That's what you did — you were in jail because you were acting like a policeman — you shot someone. No, I wasn't!
你蹲过号子——你坐牢是因为你冒充警察——你射杀过人。我没有！
Ask me about your girlfriends. What color hair does she have? I knew it!
你可以问我你女票们的情况。她头发是啥颜色？我就知道！
Yeah! And her hair is colored too — I knew she had colored hair — She doesn't have color.
好诶！她还染发了——我就知道她染发了——她没染发。
She's got — oh oh — she has no hair? You have a bald girlfriend. No, no, no. Yes, you do. No.
她有——哦，哦——她没头发？你的女票是个光头。不是，不是，不是。就是。不是。
Take him away Truth Fairy and don't you ever try to bring your lies into this room again. You understand me?
把他带走，实话仙女，别再把你的谎言带到这间屋子里来，你听到没？
Kind of. I'll get you!
有点儿。我会逮你个正着的！
