Thank me, thank me. Gotcha. Thank me very much for being here.
感谢我,感谢我,得到了,非常感谢我能来。
You all just witnessed the Super Bowl of State of the Union speeches. It had action. It had excitement. It had drama.
你们见证了超级碗国情咨文演讲,我们有行动,有兴奋点,还有戏剧色彩。
The only thing it was missing was Adam Levine's nipples. First question.
唯一缺少的是亚当·莱文的乳头,第一个问题。
Mr. President, now that the speech is over, how do you think you did out there tonight?
总统先生,演讲已经结束,你如何评价今晚的表现呢?
I was very, very very fantastic tonight. Wasn't I fantastic?
今晚非常棒,我是不是很棒?
Everybody's talking about how fantastic I was. I was clear, I was concise, I was articu-latte.
所有人都在谈论我的精彩表演,我表达清晰,简洁明要,口齿清吃。
Next question. Mr. President, you talked a lot tonight about unifying the country. Do you think the message was heard?
下一个问题总统先生,你今晚谈论了许多关于融合国家的问题,你认为人们能明白吗?
Look, it's very important that the American people come together, okay?
美国民众统一在一起是非常重要的,对吗?
Over the next year, my number-one priority as president will be to build bridges and then turn them sideways and make them into walls.
明年,作为总统的首要任务是建立桥梁,给他们放到一边,让他们在墙里面呆着。
Next question. Mr. President, can you elaborate on your plan to fix the immigration problems facing this country?
下一个问题总统先生,你能为我们详细解释一下目前国家面临的移民问题吗?
Look, I've always believed in a clear path to legal citizenship, okay? It's very simple.
我一直相信获得合法公民身份的道路很清晰,其实很简单。
First, you fill out an application. Then, you go on The Bachelor and if Colton gives you a rose, boom, you're an American.
第一,填一张申请单,之后上《单身汉》节目,如果科尔顿给你一束玫瑰,那你就是美国人了。
Could somebody get me some water? Oh, no. I'm not doing this again.
有人能给我点水吗?我不会再这么做了。
You're gonna make a GIF out of me and say I hold things weird. This is a locker room.
你会用这个做一个我的搞笑动态,说我拿东西的动作很奇怪,这是更衣室。
Give me a squirt bottle, please. Thank you. Good luck memeing that.
请给我一个喷射瓶谢谢,你可以用这个做一个风格。
Next question. Mr. President, CNN. Fake news. Mr. President, MSNBC. Thank you, next.
下一个问题总统先生,我来自CNN新闻,假新闻,总统先生MSNBC,谢谢下一个。
Mr. President, Fox News. Talk to me, boo. Congratulations on giving the greatest speech in human history.
总统先生福克斯新闻,跟我聊甜心,祝贺你发表了人类历史上最棒的演讲。
You did it. That is a fantastic question. Thank you. All right, this press conference is over.
你做到了,这是一个好问题,谢谢,新闻发布会结束。
Now, who wants to see my nipples?
谁想看我的乳头?