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Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite #MyWeirdRoommate stories from you guys.
下面和大家分享一些“最古怪室友”的故事。
This first one is from @hoseway. Oh. No, H-O-S-E. Oh. Like a garden hose. Oh.
第一个来自@hoseway，不是，是H-O-S-E，好的，就是花园用的软管。
He says my roommate would lay on the couch watching TV shirtless.
他说我的室友会脱光上衣躺在沙发上看电视。
He would have ranch dressing on one side of his chest, cheese dip on the other,
胸的一边放着牧场调料，另一边是奶酪酱，
and a mountain of chips resting on his stomach.
胃上放着一堆薯条。
That's the hose way. That's the hose way right there, man. Yeah, man.
这是死路，死路啊，没错兄弟。
This one's from @karamisu. She says in college, my roommate came to me in a panic
这个来自@karamisu，她说上大学时，我的室友慌忙找到我，
and told me her snake got out. I had no idea
说她的蛇跑出来了，我不知道
she had a snake. Oh! What do you mean? There's a snake? At 818.
她居然有蛇，你啥意思？有蛇吗？在818室。
This one's from @Jacobchiller. Ooh! Scary! Uh, @Jacobchiller.
这个来自@Jacobchiller，太吓人了，@Jacobchiller。
He says my roommate would come home drunk holding his shoes by the laces,
他说我的室友回家时醉醺醺，鞋带挂着鞋拎在手上，
swing them around like nunchucks, and attack me while I was trying to sleep, yelling I'm Michelangelo!
像是双节棍一样摇摆，当我要睡觉时试图攻击我，然后大喊道我是米开朗基罗。
I'm Michelangelo! Dude. This next one is from @audrey87024230.
我是米开朗基罗，兄弟，下一个来自@audrey87024230。
She says if the vending machine didn't have cheddar sour cream chips,
她说如果自动售卖机没有切德酸奶油味薯条，
my roommate would lie on her bed in sadness and say when the vending machine is empty, I am empty.
我的室友会伤心地躺在床上，说如果自动售卖机空了，那我就空了。
I'm with the roommate. Cheddar sour cream chips. I'm with the roommate.
我支持她，切德酸奶油味薯条，我支持她。
This one's from @LakeShowFanatic. He says I had a roommate that would pour toilet bowl cleaner on his dirty dishes,
这个来自@LakeShowFanatic，他说我的室友会将洗厕所的清洁剂倒在盘子上，
then leave them in the sink. He said if it's good enough to clean toilets, it's good enough to clean plates. Oh!
并放在水池中浸泡，他说如果这个能洗厕所，就能洗碗，哦哦。
What was on the plate? Oh, he's doing chaw too. Yeah.
碗上是什么？他还在咀嚼，没错。
Hey, if it's good enough for...Ding! Good enough to clean them plates.
如果这个能够...叮叮，也能够盘子。
This one's from @jasonaland. He says my college roommate bought size 22 sneakers,
这个来自@jasonaland，他说我的大学室友买了22号的胶底鞋，
put them in the middle of our living room, just so when people came over and saw them he could say,
放在我卧室的中间，当有人来看到这双鞋时，他可以说，
Oh, my girlfriend's in the shower. God, what's... Where's the win?
哦，我的女友在洗澡，到底谁赢了？
I don't know, man. Yeah. So people... What did he expect the reaction would be? Oh, okay.
我不知道，所以人们，他想看到什么样的结果？好吧。
I guess you'd be like Wow. She's really tall. Yeah, oh, she's tall. That was a good bit. I kind of like it, man.
我想你应该这样，哦她真高，没错她真高，很不错，我很喜欢。
I give you props. I think it's...I think it's funny. Yeah, you're gonna do that one? I think that's a funny bit, man.
干得漂亮，我认为很有趣，你真的这么做吗？我觉得很有趣。
This last one here is from @diane-kinkade.
最后一个来自@diane-kinkade。
She says my college roommate tried to kill a spider that was on the window pane with a hammer.
她说我的大学室友试图用斧头杀死玻璃窗上的蜘蛛。
She missed the spider. It's like... There you have it. Those are Tonight Show Hashtags.
她没打中蜘蛛，老天，这就是今夜秀标签节目。
To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.
想要了解更多精彩节目，请登录tonightshow.com/hashtags。
