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I was running a bit behind. I can write some right now? Is that cool?
今天时间有点赶了，我们现在开始好吗，可以吗？
Thank you so much. Hey, Kamal, can I have some thank-you-note-writing music, please?
谢谢卡玛尔，能给我来点感谢信背景音乐吗?
Go for it. Mm-hmm. You got any? No, that's...Enough, man.
开始吧，有音乐吗？这个不行亲。
James, can I get some thank-you-note-writing music, please? Sorry about that. I apologize.
詹姆斯，能给我来点感谢信背景音乐吗？对不起，我道歉。
Oh, man. Now you made him mad. I upset him a little. Yeah.
老天，你让他发疯了，我把他惹毛了，没错。
That's usually not how he... That's not Champaign James. Not Champaign James. No.
这不是他经常，这不再是詹姆斯香槟，不再是詹姆斯香槟，不是了。
Champaign James! Champaign James! Champaign James, Champaign James,
詹姆斯香槟！詹姆斯香槟！詹姆斯香槟！詹姆斯香槟！
Champaign James! Champaign James! Champaign James, Champaign James,
詹姆斯香槟！詹姆斯香槟！詹姆斯香槟！詹姆斯香槟！
Champaign James presents Champaign Jams.
詹姆斯香槟代言香槟果酱。
Thank you, Kanye and Trump, for meeting at the White House this week.
谢谢小特和坎耶，俩人本周在白宫会面。
It's the long-awaited sit-down between the guy who wrote poopy-di scoop
此次会面期待已久，一个是写《poopy-di scoop》的歌手，
and the guy with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
一个是鞋底粘手纸的男人。
Thank you, Google, for shutting down Google Plus. I think I speak for everyone when I say,
感谢谷歌关闭了Google+，我代表了所有人的心声，
What was Google Plus? What was it? Was that a thing? I didn't know what it was.
什么是Google+？这是啥？这是个东西吗？我不知道这是啥。
Thank you, hot apple cider. You're perfect for people who like apple juice
谢谢热喷喷的苹果酒，爱喝苹果汁的人一定喜欢你，
but really wish you could burn all the skin off the inside of their mouths. Mm, ah, ah, ah, ah!
但希望你能将他们嘴里的皮肤都烫一烫，啊啊。
Thank you, fancy bathroom soap that's just for guests,
谢谢奇特的，专供顾客使用的浴室肥皂，
even though whenever I see you at someone's house, I'm still like, Oh, I shouldn't use it. That's just for guests.
即使我在别人家发现了你，我依然会说，我不能用，你专供客人使用。
Oh, I'm the guest. Molton...Molton Brown? Wow. Wow. Now, that's a soap.
我是客人，摩顿布朗？哦哦，这是肥皂。
Thank you, clogs, for combining the frumpiness of slippers
谢谢木底鞋，你有拖鞋的老旧风，
with all the discomfort of having a cutting board strapped to your foot. Ooh. Hardwood. Yes? Yeah.
又有双脚捆绑切肉板的不舒适感，哦，硬木头，真的吗？没错。
This is comfortable? And having a good time? A good time? These are good? Would I?
这个舒适吗？过得不错？过得不错？好吗？真的吗？
Thank you, Burger King, for your new deal offering 10 chicken nuggets for a dollar,
谢谢汉堡王，你给我们提供一美金10个鸡块的菜单，
cause nothing says quality food like paying for meat with a handful of dimes. Eh.
因为没人会说用一把十分硬币就能买到优质肉食。
Thank you, cobwebs, for saying, You know what's spooky? How rarely I clean.
谢谢蜘蛛网，感谢你说“你知道什么是毛骨悚然吗？”我不经常清理的。
Thank you, Frontier Airlines flight that was delayed this week
感谢边疆航空本周晚点，
when a passenger tried to bring an emotional squirrel onboard.
原因是有一名乘客试图将情绪激动的松鼠带上飞机。
Wait for it. Wait for it. That was nuts. And there you are.
等一下，等一下，这是坚果，好了。
Thank you very much. Those are my thank you notes.
感谢大家，这就是今天的感谢信环节。
