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And she goes, "Uh... no."
然后她说：“呃，不记得。”
Of course, the only thing I could say at that point was, "Yeah, me neither. Yeah -- me neither."
所以当然了，我也只能说：“哦，我也是...我也是。”
And I'm thinking to myself, "Brené, what are you doing? Why did you bring this up?
然后我对自己说：“布琳，你在干什么？你在干吗呢？你怎么会提这个？
Have you lost your mind? Your sisters would be perfect for this."
你昏了头了吗？ 你的姐妹这方面是很完美的。”
So I looked back up and she said, "Are you really going to try to break in and steal the video before they put it on YouTube?"
我回过神来，于是她说： “你不会是真的想撬门进去，在他们上传到YouTube之前，把视频偷出来吧？”
And I said, "I'm just thinking about it a little bit."
我说：“我就是想了一小下。”
She said, "You're like the worst vulnerability role model ever."
她说：“你就是史上最糟糕的脆弱者榜样。”
Then I looked at her and I said something that at the time felt a little dramatic, but ended up being more prophetic than dramatic.
然后我看着她说了一些，当时看有点戏剧性，现在看更像是预言的话。
I said, "If 500 turns into 1,000 or 2,000, my life is over."
如果500变成1000或者2000，我就死定了。
I had no contingency plan for four million.
我压根就没想过四百万点击率是什么情况。
And my life did end when that happened.
于是我的生活真的完了。
And maybe the hardest part about my life ending is that I learned something hard about myself,
而或许其中最困难的，就是我发现了自身纠结的那一部分，
and that was that, as much as I would be frustrated about not being able to get my work out to the world,
那就是：一方面我会因为无法把我的工作成果展现给公众而失落，
there was a part of me that was working very hard to engineer staying small, staying right under the radar.
而另一方面我又非常努力想做到不引人注目，隐藏在公众的视线之下。
But I want to talk about what I've learned.
但是我想讲一下我所学到的。
There's two things that I've learned in the last year.
在过去的一年我学到两件事。
