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We all know someone or have been someone who's unfortunately experienced an affair and a cheating relationship.
在恋爱关系中，总会有人经历过出轨和被出轨。
Although it's painful to experience and leaves many a scar for those affected, it can teach us to avoid similar situations in the future.
虽然这种经历很痛苦并会留下伤痛，但这种经历也能教会我们如何在以后避免相似的情况。
While it's better to be a third party and see the reasoning behind both sides, if you are involved you can still gain knowledge.
虽然充当理性看待这件事的第三方固然是最好的，但如果你是经历者，你也能从中学到。
Discovering the motives and red flags will teach you how to avoid cheating in your own relationships.
发现动机以及危险信号将教会你如何在两性关系中避免受到欺骗。
Cheating is bad we can all agree but you can't judge someone by only knowing that they once cheated without knowing the situation behind it and the reasoning why.
我们都同意欺骗是错误的，但在不了解具体情况和原因的时候，你不能仅根据他们曾撒过谎来评判这个人。
For example, picture a man and a woman who dated for a long time and got married, had two kids and bought a house together.
例如，想象一下，一对男女交往了很长时间后结婚了，他们有两个孩子并共同购买了一所房子。
Slowly the husband became an extreme alcoholic who never spent time with his wife or their children.
慢慢地丈夫开始酗酒，也不再花时间陪伴妻子和孩子。
Due to the wife's financial and cultural situation, she is unable to divorce him and still care for her children or herself.
根据妻子的经济和文化情况，她无法和丈夫离婚，她仍关心自己的孩子。
One day at the gym, she meets a nice man who she sincerely cares for and who truly loves he in return.
一次在健身房里，她遇到了一位不错的男士，她真的喜欢他而这位男士也爱着她。
This led to an affair, would you put the wife at fault? Do you blame her?
然后妻子出轨了，你会怪罪这位妻子么？你会指责她么？
Yes, cheating is wrong and she should not have cheated but as an outsider, we can learn from her mistakes and avoid this kind of fate ourselves.
没错，欺骗是错误的，她不应该在婚姻中欺骗，但最为一名局外人，我们也能从她的错误中学习，避免这种命运。
For example, you should not let yourself become financially dependent upon another individual.
例如，你不应该让自己在经济上依赖别人。
If you do, you could find that you are trapped in a toxic relationship like the woman in our scenario discovered.
如果这样，你会发现自己被困在一种有毒的关系中，就像上述场景中的那名女士一样。
There were also steps that the couple could have taken to avoid this fate.
这对夫妻也能采取些措施避免这种命运。
They could have addressed his alcohol problem before it got out of hand or gone to marriage counseling to discuss their relationship issues.
他们本应该在事情失去控制之前解决丈夫的酗酒问题或是去婚姻咨询处讨论他们的关系问题。
Although cheating is wrong, we can see that there are often innocent factors at play and we can learn from witnessing other people's sides of a situation.
虽然欺骗是错误的，我们可以看到其中总有些无辜因素在作怪，我们能从别人的例子中学习。
Nonetheless, we must remember we truly are never aware of a person's situation unless we are them.
但是我们必须记住我们无法真正的了解一个人的情况，除非我们身处之中。
You cannot immediately judge a book by its cover
你不能通过一本书的封面立即评价这本书
but is there deep down in our chromosomes a biological reason behind most cheating affairs within a marriage?
但是在我们的染色体中，在婚姻出轨的背后是不是还有存在着一种生理原因？
Biologically speaking, falling in love will offset a release of chemicals that make a body feel excited and elated.
从生物角度来讲，恋爱会抵消化学物质的释放，让身体感受到刺激和兴奋。
Over the course of time, those chemicals fade and that feeling of love unfortunately starts to trickle away, too.
随着时间的推移，这些化学物质会消失，不幸的是，那种爱的感觉也开始驱散。
When a partner meets someone fresh that they're attracted to, it rekindles those feelings, but toward the other individual.
当其中一位被另一个人吸引，就会再次重燃那些感觉。
Even if this person has never cheated before and has been completely faithful over the years,
即使这个人之前从未欺骗过，即使这个人多年来完全忠诚于他的另一半，
this newfound rush of chemicals encourages the natural human temptation.
但这种化学物质的重新释放激动着人类的天性诱惑。
The only difference between the cheater and a non cheater is whether they act on this temptation or not.
欺骗者和非欺骗者之间的唯一区别在于他们是否会服从于这种诱惑。
Some people take this influx of chemicals rushing into them, as them falling head over heels for this new person and consequently falling out of love with their spouse.
一些人接受这些化学物质的冲击，他们对这位新对象死心塌地，最终和伴侣的情感破裂。
When it's really just an infatuation that will fade just as it did the first time around.
如果只是痴迷，就像第一次那样最终会消失。
Everyone loves to fall in love, it's a thrilling adventure and it's beautiful,
每个人都喜欢恋爱的感觉，这是一次美丽而刺激的冒险，
so cheaters sometimes use these feelings as brand new although they're just a refresh of what they once had with their partner.
所以欺骗者有时将这些感觉当做一次全新冒险，虽然他们也曾和伴侣体验过这种冒险。
This temptation can be avoided by working together as a couple to keep the flame alive as some may say.
这种诱惑可以通过夫妻间的共同合作保持激情的鲜活来避免。
As a couple, you should try new things and always keep impressing each other so that you never forget the love you discovered at the dawn of your relationship.
最为夫妻，你们应该尝试新事物并随时给对方新鲜感，这样你们就永远不会忘记恋爱初期爱的感觉。
Whether it's being 2 years of marriage or 20 years, you must keep striving for love and to keep interest engaged or things will get old, boring and the flame will go out.
不论是结婚两年还是二十周年，你们都必须为爱而努力、保持新鲜感，否则你们的关系会变老、变无聊、爱的火焰会消失。
In the end, it is still wrong to cheat.
最后，欺骗总是不对的。
Although there are some who may argue that it is in our DNA, we have the ability to work things out in our relationships to avoid cheating.
虽然有人会争论到，欺骗是存于DNA中的，但我们有能力解决关系中的问题避免欺骗。
If your relationship is important to you and your partner,
如果你们的关系对彼此很重要，
you should both take steps to keeping the flame alive and keeping the desire there throughout the years, so that the topic of cheating does not ever arise
你们应该采取措施保持爱火的鲜活，保持对彼此的欲望，这样欺骗的话题永不再被提及。
