I do not know what there was in the way he told me this that extraordinarily suggested the violence of his desire. It was disconcerting and rather horrible. His life was strangely divorced from material things, and it was as though his body at times wreaked a fearful revenge on his spirit. The satyr in him suddenly took possession, and he was powerless in the grip of an instinct which had all the strength of the primitive forces of nature. It was an obsession so complete that there was no room in his soul for prudence or gratitude.
在他给我讲这件事的语气里,我不知道有一种什么东西,非常奇特地表示出他当时的强烈的欲望。它令人感到惊措不安,或者甚至可以说非常恐怖。他平日的生活方式很奇特,根本不注意身体的需求。但是有些时候他的肉体却好象要对他的精神进行一次可怕的报复。他内心深处的那个半人半兽的东西把他捉到手里,在这种具有大自然的原始力量的天性的掌心里他完全无能为力。他被牢牢地抓住,什么谨慎啊,感恩啊,在他的灵魂里都一点儿地位也没有了。
"But why did you want to take her away with you?" I asked.
“但是你为什么要把她拐走呢?”我问。
"I didn't," he answered, frowning. "When she said she was coming I was nearly as surprised as Stroeve. I told her that when I'd had enough of her she'd have to go, and she said she'd risk that." He paused a little. "She had a wonderful body, and I wanted to paint a nude. When I'd finished my picture I took no more interest in her."
“我没有,”他皱了皱眉头说,“当她说她要跟着我的时候,我差不多同施特略夫一样吃惊。我告诉她当我不再需要她的时候,她就非走开不可,她说她愿意冒这个险。”思特里克兰德停了一会。“她的身体非常美,我正需要画一幅裸体画。等我把画画完了以后,我对她也就没有兴趣了。”
"And she loved you with all her heart."
“她可是全心地爱着你啊。”
He sprang to his feet and walked up and down the small room.
他从座位上跳起来,在我的小屋子里走来走去。
"I don't want love. I haven't time for it. It's weakness. I am a man, and sometimes I want a woman. When I've satisfied my passion I'm ready for other things. I can't overcome my desire, but I hate it; it imprisons my spirit; I look forward to the time when I shall be free from all desire and can give myself without hindrance to my work. Because women can do nothing except love, they've given it a ridiculous importance. They want to persuade us that it's the whole of life. It's an insignificant part. I know lust. That's normal and healthy. Love is a disease. Women are the instruments of my pleasure; I have no patience with their claim to be helpmates, partners, companions."
“我不需要爱情。我没有时间搞恋爱。这是人性的一个弱点。我是个男人,有时候我需要一个女性。但是一旦我的情欲得到了满足,我就准备做别的事了。我无法克服自己的欲望,我恨它,它囚禁着我的精神。我希望将来能有一天,我会不再受欲望的支配,不再受任何阻碍地全心投到我的工作上去。因为女人除了谈情说爱不会干别的,所以她们把爱情看得非常重要,简直到了可笑的地步。她们还想说服我们,叫我们也相信人的全部生活就是爱情。实际上爱情是生活中无足轻重的一部分。我只懂得情欲。这是正常的,健康的。爱情是一种疾病。女人是我享乐的工具,我对她们提出什么事业的助手、生活的侣伴这些要求非常讨厌。”