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In life, there will be times you have to be around and deal with difficult people.
一生中，总会遇上一些难相处的人。
Thankfully, Dr.Irene Strauss Cohan have helpful advice regarding this.
还好Irene Strauss Cohan博士对此提出了一些有用的建议。
Dr.Irene Strauss Cohan is a psychologist, an avid blogger and a professor at Barry University,
Strauss博士是一名心理学家、热心博主，
advising in the Department of Counseling.
也是贝瑞大学咨询辅导系的一名教授。
Her main area of interest is helping people build foundations in their relationships and keep them strong.
她主要的感兴趣领域是帮助人们建立起人际关系中的基础并保持强劲。
She's passionate about improving people's sense of self and helping them be the best version they can be.
她热衷于提高人们的自我感知并帮助他们成为最好的自己。
Dr.Strauss makes it a point that there is no real difference between a difficult person and someone who needs help
Strauss博士认为难相处的人和需要帮助的人之间没有真正的差别
because most of the time, they're one in the same.
因为大多数时候，他们都是同一种人。
She says you aren't going to be unpleasant or hurtful to people unless you feel that way inside about yourself.
她说道，你不会不开心或伤害别人，除非你的内心觉得难受。
I don't know if those people specifically need love and care,
我不知道那些人是否特别需要爱和关心，
some of those people may not be in the space to accept the love no matter how loving and caring the other person is.
一些人或许不会接受别人的爱，不论那个人有多么关心他们。
Dealing with a difficult person can prove more challenging if it happens to be a family member
事实证明，和难相处的人的相处，如果这个人是你的家人的话，就会更具挑战性
and especially if you live with them.
特别是你还和他们住在一起的话。
It isn't easy to be around people that seem to always bring your mood down, Dr.Strauss observed,
Strauss博士发现，和那些总让你心情低落的人待在一起并不容易，
adding there is not one easy answer to this.
要解决也并不容易。
Dr.Strauss suggests to manage yourself and your anxiety around that person,
Strauss博士建议管理自己和你的焦虑，
try to understand them through their upbringing and story, ultimately try to accept them for who they are.
尝试通过他们的成长经历和故事了解他们，最终试着接受真实的他们。
If you can understand a person, you can better manage emotions around them without feeling so reactive.
如果你能够理解这个人，你就可能更好的管理情绪不受他们的影响。
Dr. Strauss also suggests to pay attention to your own behaviors and triggers.
Strauss博士还建议要注意你自己的行为。
Perhaps, there's something you do that allows the person to negatively influence and bring you down.
大概，你所做的一些事让那些人消极地影响你并让你心情低落。
She reveals, I've gotten to the point where I can be around some difficult people without feeling the need to be so reactive
她说道，我和一些难相处的人相处时，没有相关联的感觉
fix them to make them happier or want to avoid them.
我会修复他们的心情，让他们更加开心而不是避免他们。
It was hard for me to be around difficult people in my own family
对我来说，要和家庭成员中难相处的人待在一起很困难
because I wanted to see people happy all the time.
因为我只想看到开心的人。
Once I accepted that I wasn't responsible for their happiness, I eased up a bit.
而一旦我接受了‘我并不为他们的开心而负责’的观点后，我轻松了许多。
Dr.Strauss admits that people can influence each other
Strauss博士承认人们能顾影响别人
and growing up in an environment that is constantly negative can affect how you see and relate to the world
并且负面成长环境影响了你对世界的看法以及你与世界的联系
but if you create a life balance, it is less likely to happen.
但如果你能创造出一种生命平衡，似乎就能解决这个问题。
Dr.Strauss adds, when it comes to families, we can't really choose.
Strauss博士补充道，当这种情况发生于家庭成员之中，我们真的没得选。
I think we all have a negative family member or difficult person that most of us try to avoid
我认为我们都有消极的亲戚或是想要避开的难相处之人
I don't think that one person can ruin your positive disposition entirely.
但我不认为这个人会完全摧毁你的积极心态。
When around negative or even highly positive people, I remember that all of that derives from their anxiety.
和消极或甚至是高度积极的人在一起，我记得所有这些都源于他们的焦虑。
For some people's negativity comes from being a highly anxious person and for others being positive may help them reduce it.
一些人的消极来源于高度的焦虑而其他人的积极也许能够帮助他们减少焦虑。
All of the negative is usually exaggerated from an anxious person,
所有的消极通常都被消极的人夸张化，
if you can manage your own anxiety and look at the facts of whatever the person is negative about,
如果你能够管理自己的焦虑并看清焦虑的来源，
it won't bother you as much.
这就不会在打扰你了。
It's easy to spot a difficult person, according to Dr. Strauss,
Strauss博士表示，发现一个难相处之人很容易，
they tend to make everything about themselves, have few friends and are hypersensitive.
他们做自己的一切、没什么朋友且超级敏感。
It's normal to have a disagreement with anyone so that isn't always an indication.
和别人意见相左是常见的事，所以这不能被看成是一种迹象。
Also if you find everyone difficult to deal with, you should probably take a look in the mirror.
同样，如果你觉得所与人都能难相处，你就该好好审视自己了。
One of the keys to dealing with difficult people is making sure you make time for self-care,
和难相处人相处的关键之一就是确保你腾出时间自我照顾、
find something you enjoy and do it and this can be different for everyone.
发现自己喜欢的事情，每个人都是不一样的。
Relentless positivity isn't necessarily though, as Dr.Strauss describes,
Strauss博士表示，虽然积极性并不是必要的
some situations suck and that needs to be acknowledged.
但遇上糟糕的情形，就需要承认情况很糟糕。
I think if people could accept their situations as is and be more factual about them,
我认为如果大家能够接受自己的处境，真实的面对它，
then after, they will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
他们就能够看到末尾的光亮。
For example, getting a flat tire on the way to an important meeting isn't a fun situation
例如，参加重要会议的路上，车胎爆了可不是什么开心的事情
but if you acknowledge it, manage yourself to destress and find a way to fix the tire and then reschedule your meeting
但如果你承认这一点，管理自己的压力并找到修补办法并重新安排自己的会议
it will help you later to see the positive of the situation,
这样能够帮助你最终找到积极的出路，
after the fact you can say,"okay, that wasn't so bad."
最终你会说，“好吧，也不是那么糟糕。”
And at least, no one was hurt and everything worked out.
至少，没人受伤，解决所有事情。
So what are your thoughts be sure to comment below and visit Dr.Strauss's website, a link can be found in the description.
所以你怎么看呢？请在下方留言评论并登陆Strauss博士的网站。
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