Stroeve sighed a little and was silent. His thoughts dwelt among pictures of what might have been, and the safety of the life he had refused filled him with longing.
施特略夫轻轻叹了一口气,沉默了一会儿。他的思想萦回在可能发生的这些图景上,他自动放弃的这种安全稳定的生活使他无限眷恋。
The world is hard and cruel. We are here none knows why, and we go none knows whither. We must be very humble. We must see the beauty of quietness. We must go through life so inconspicuously that Fate does not notice us. And let us seek the love of simple, ignorant people. Their ignorance is better than all our knowledge. Let us be silent, content in our little corner, meek and gentle like them. That is the wisdom of life.
“世界是无情的、残酷的。我们生到人世间没有人知道为了什么,我们死后没有人知道到何处去。我们必须自甘卑屈。我们必须看到冷清寂寥的美妙。在生活中我们一定不要出风头、露头角,惹起命运对我们注目。让我们去寻求那些淳朴、敦厚的人的爱情吧。他们的愚昧远比我们的知识更为可贵。让我们保持着沉默,满足于自己小小的天地,象他们一样平易温顺吧。这就是生活的智慧。”
To me it was his broken spirit that expressed itself, and I rebelled against his renunciation. But I kept my own counsel.
这一番话我听着象是他意志消沉的自白,我不同意他这种自暴自弃的态度。但是我也不想同他争辩,宣讲我的处世方针。
What made you think of being a painter? I asked.
“是什么使你想起当画家来呢?”我问他道。
He shrugged his shoulders.
他耸了耸肩膀。
It happened that I had a knack for drawing. I got prizes for it at school. My poor mother was very proud of my gift, and she gave me a box of water-colours as a present. She showed my sketches to the pastor and the doctor and the judge. And they sent me to Amsterdam to try for a scholarship, and I won it. Poor soul, she was so proud; and though it nearly broke her heart to part from me, she smiled, and would not show me her grief. She was pleased that her son should be an artist.
“我凑巧有点儿绘画的才能。在学校读书的时候画图画得过奖。我的可怜的母亲很为我这种本领感到自豪,买了一盒水彩送给我。她还把我的图画拿给牧师、医生和法官去看。后来这些人把我送到阿姆斯特丹,让我试一试能不能考取奖学金入大学。我考取了。可怜的母亲,她骄傲得了不得。尽管同我分开使她非常难过,她还是强颜欢笑,不叫我看出她的伤心来。她非常高兴,自己的儿子能成为个艺术家。