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I want to wish everybody a Happy Halloween.
祝大家万圣节快乐！
This is nice, so the President Trump gave out Halloween candy to kids at the White House last night.
幸福的日子来临了，总统特朗普昨晚在白宫为孩子们分发糖果。
It was a chance for kids to take king-sized candy bars from fun-sized hands.
孩子们这下有机会了，看看特朗普的奇形怪手，糖果也是硕大一坨。
Little weird, though, while the kids were trick-or-treating. The White House was playing trick-or-treason. And, they, Hey oh, hey! Hey!
看起来有些奇怪，孩子们做的是“不给糖果就捣乱”，白宫做的是“不给糖果就反叛”，嘿嘿嘿！
People are still talking about the former Trump staffers who got indicted, including a guy named George Papadopoulos.
今天人们还在议论特朗普员工遭起诉一案，包括一名叫乔治·帕帕佐普洛斯的员工。
Well, today Trump attacked him on Twitter and referred to him only as "George".
小特今天在“推特”上对他进行了攻击，称他是“乔治”。
When asked if he was nervous trying to spell Papadopoulos, he said I was nervous trying to spell George. J...oh No? Okay.
被问及是不是对拼写“帕帕佐普洛斯”有困难时，他称我对拼写“乔治”感到困难，乔字怎么写，不知道好吧。
I read that he swayed the election. Russian agents posted over 1,000 YouTube videos.
有消息称他操控大选，俄罗斯方面在“YouTube”上发布了一千多条视频。
Yeah, then even Putin was like oh my goodness, these comments are so mean.
就连普京都要说了，我的天啊评论也太苛刻了。
Why don't these people get lives? Got some more news out of the White House.
你们就不能正常点吗？ 接着我们的白宫新闻。
They just released the official portraits of President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence.
白宫近日发布了副总统彭斯和特朗普的官方肖像。
Let's take a look at Pence's. Yeah, that's nice. Now, here's Trump's. Cool. He's a big boy. Lasers.
我们先来看看彭斯的，不错对吗，再来看看特朗普的，帅，大男孩啊，老天，激光。
I saw that earlier today Trump was discussing the press, and he actually sounded rather poetic. Take a listen to this.
今天早间，特朗普关于新闻媒体发表了讲话，听起来还挺押韵的，来听听。
The media is not all fake, so therefore we can get a fair shake.
媒体也不全是虚假的，所以我们要正确对待它们。
Then he did another rhyme. He said Trick or treat, smell my feet. Where's my phone so I can tweeeet? Twee-ah! Twee-ah!
之后他又说了一个特别押韵的话，“不给糖果就捣乱”，“不给糖果就惩办”，我要发个推特，电话在哪，我要推推推推推特！
What are you doing? He's tweet vomiting. I'm very vocal with my tweets.
你在干嘛？ 他一看见“推特”就作呕，我在“推特”里可以畅所欲言。
As I mentioned earlier, Trump gave out candy to trick-or-treaters last night.
节目一开始我们说过的，特朗普昨晚为孩子们分发糖果。
The White House actually released some footage. Take a look at this.
白宫公布了视频，我们来看看。
Yeah. Isn't that cute? There he is there. Well, we were actually able to enhance the audio and pick up some of what Trump was saying to the kids. Check this out.
动人吧，特朗普在这里，我们其实可以把视频升华一下，把特朗普对孩子说的话拿走，来看看。
No way. Buzz Lightyear? I knew you were real. I told Melania.
不可能巴斯光年，我知道你是如假包换的，我告诉梅拉尼娅了。
Fantastic orange jumpsuits. You look like a little Paul Manafort. Big body, tiny hands. I know the feeling.
橘红色睡衣很好看，你长得有点像保罗·马纳福特，身材高大，手掌畸形，我知道你的感受。
It's very very interesting. Really? Highly sensitive microphones. Wow!
非常有趣，真的吗？ 极敏感话筒，喔喔！
Oh, this is very cool. I saw the hosts of the Today Show dressed up as country singers.
接下来的才算炫酷，《今日秀》主持人为万圣节打扮成了乡村歌手。
The hosts of Good Morning America dressed up as superheroes. While the hosts of Fox and Friends denied that it was Halloween. Really?! Yeah.
《早安美国》主持人打扮成了超级英雄，福克斯新闻节目《福克斯和朋友》不认为我们过的是万圣节，真的吗，是的。
The lie, spread by Hillary Clinton.
这些都是谎言，希拉里说的。
And finally, I read that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is now the richest person in the world, with a net worth of 91.6 billion dollars.
亚马逊首席执行官杰夫·贝佐斯登顶世界首富，净资产为916亿美元。
His secret, his secret, he's the only person in the world who makes money by drunk-shopping on Amazon.
但他有个秘密，他是全球唯一一个通过“醉酒购买”行为挣钱的人。
There you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots! Everybody!
今晚的节目非常成功，又到了紫根合唱团时间了！有请！
