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Hi my name is Rebecca and in today's lesson we're going to learn a simple strategy that you can use in order to communicate more effectively with others
大家好，我是Rebecca，今天我们将学习一种简单的策略教你如何和他人更有效地沟通
and in a more diplomatic way with others in a personal context or in a professional context. Okay?
并教你在个人情况下或是在专业背景下以一种更为老练的方式和他人进行沟通。
The way that you can do this is by avoiding the use of negative adjectives and replacing it or replacing them with positive adjectives.
这种简单的策略就是避免使用消极形容词并用褒义形容词替换。
So right now I understand that just sounds like a lot of grammar too, so let me give you some specific examples so you will understand
这听起来好像涉及到很多语法，那么我会给你们举一些例子，
how to use this technique with others to communicate more effectively, to complain more effectively and to be more diplomatic in your relationships with people in English, Okay?
这样你们就能够明白如何使用这种技巧和他人进行更有效地沟通、更有效地投诉以及更老练地处理和他人之间的关系，好么？
So let's go to the board I've written an example of a personal situation where you might want to complain about something.
现在看黑板，我列举了一些在个人场合你可能会投诉的一些事情。
so let's say that you go to a restaurant, you went to a restaurant and you were not at all happy,
假设你去餐厅吃饭，你一点都不开心，
you were extremely dissatisfied with the situation and afterwards you're going to talk to the manager about what happened.
你对这里的环境非常不满意，你准备去找经理投诉。
Now it's true that you can use extreme words to describe the situation but usually in English in order to be more diplomatic,
现在你当然可以使用偏激词汇描述这里的情况，但是通常在英语中，
we start off by using my under words, because if you use the extreme word right in the beginning,
我们首先会使用温和词汇，因为如果你一开始就是用偏激词汇，
then what are you going to do after that or what are you going to say after that, if you want to really express more emotion.
那么之后如果你想表达更多情绪，你该怎么说呢或者之后你又能说些什么呢。
There's kind of nowhere left for you to go, so we start off by explaining something in a bit of a mild way
这样一来你就没有给自己留有余地，因此一开始我们会以一种温和的方式解释这里发生的事
and then if somebody doesn't accept our point of view or if an argument follows for some reason, then we can always fall back on slightly harsher words.
之后如果别人不接受我们的观点或是企图与我们发生争执，那么我们就可以使用稍微严厉一点的词汇。
But we try to avoid that whenever possible. So let's see how to do that.
但是我们还是应该尽量避免这种严厉词汇。下面我们来看看该怎么说。
So you went to the restaurant and the restaurant itself the place was for example, dirty, but instead of saying the restaurant was dirty,
你去了一家餐厅，这家餐厅很脏，但是你并不能直接说这家餐厅很脏，
you use a slightly milder adjective and you say the place was not clean, the restaurant was not clean.
你可以使用稍微温和点的形容词，你可以说这个地方不是很干净，这家餐厅不是很干净。
You're using the word "not" very strategically here to express the same idea in a milder way.
这样你就是以一种更加温和的方式表达了同样的意思。
Let's suppose that the waiters were rude, so instead of saying your waiters were rude, you say your waiters were not polite. Okay?
假设餐厅服务员很粗鲁，那么你不能直接说你的服务生很粗鲁，你应该说你的服务生没有礼貌。明白了么？
You know what I'm doing? just using "not" and the opposite word, the positive adjectives, so the restaurant was not clean, the waiters were not polite.
你们明白我是怎么做的了么？就是使用“not”这个单词以及反义词、褒义形容词，例如，这家餐厅不是很干净、服务生没有礼貌。
Let's look at another example. Let's say the service was slow, so you could say the service was not efficient, right?
我们来看看下个例子。假设餐厅上菜慢，你可以说这里的服务效率不高，明白了么？
Let's suppose that the food was cold, so we could say the food was not hot, all right?
假设上来的菜是凉的，你就可以说上的菜不热。
So you see in this situation, by describing it with a positive adjectives and "not", you're able to complain in a much more diplomatic way
因此，可以看到在这种情况下，通过使用褒义形容词和”not“，你能够以一种老练的方式进行投诉抱怨
and it's possible that you will receive a more positive response, which hopefully is your intention.
这样的话你很有可能会收到更加积极的回复，达到你的意愿。
When you're actually in a difficult situation, usually when we complain, it's not just because we are venting or expressing our anger,
当你身处一个比较困难的情况下，通常是在投诉的情况下，不仅仅是因为我们是在发泄或表达我们的愤怒，
sometimes it is but not usually, there is usually something more that we want perhaps in return as a result of our dissatisfaction,
有时我们想要一些赔偿作为不满的回报，
so in order to receive that, you want to be sure to not scare the other person away or embarrass the other person too much,
因为为了得到赔偿，你要确保不把其他人给吓走或是令他人感到太过尴尬，
you'd rather take a diplomatic approach, so you can get what you want out of the situation, okay?
你最好使用一种更加外交的方式，这样你才能摆脱这种境况获得要想的结果，明白了么？
All right. So we're going to come back in just a minute and then I'm going to show you an example of a business context in which you can do the same thing, all right? I'll be right back.
好了。稍等一分钟，马上回来为你们讲解在商务场合中的例子。马上回来。
