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Now, I've experienced this firsthand. For the last few years, I've been living in a cohousing community.
我亲身体验过这种生活。过去几年中，我生活在一个合作居住社区。
It's 1.5 acres of persimmon trees, this prolific blackberry bush that snakes around a community garden,
社区公园里有1.5英亩柿子树，黑莓丛郁郁葱葱，蜿蜒遍布整个公园
all smack-dab, by the way, in the middle of urban Oakland.
一切都是刚刚好，顺便提一句，这个社区在奥克兰中部。
The nine units are all built to be different, different sizes, different shapes, but they're meant to be as green as possible.
九幢房屋各有特色，大小不同，形状也不同，但是绿化都是越多越好。
So big, shiny black solar cells on our roof mean our electricity bill rarely exceeds more than five bucks in a month.
屋顶上是巨大的黑色太阳能板，我们每个月的电费几乎从来都不超过五美元。
The 25 of us who live there are all different ages and political persuasions and professions,
我们一共25个人，不同年龄、不同政治信仰、不同职业。
and we live in homes that have everything a typical home would have.
我们就像普通家庭一样。
But additionally, we share an industrial-sized kitchen and eating area, where we have common meals twice a week.
但是，大家共同使用一个巨大的厨房和餐厅，我们每周有两天在一起吃饭。
Now, people, when I tell them I live like this, often have one of two extreme reactions.
现在每当我告诉别人我的生活方式时，一般人的反应都是两个极端。
Either they say, "Why doesn't everyone live like this?"
一种反应是：“为什么不是所有人都这样生活？”
Or they say, "That sounds totally horrifying. I would never want to do that."
另一种反应是：“太可怕了，我坚决不要这样生活。”
So let me reassure you: there is a sacred respect for privacy among us, but also a commitment to what we call "radical hospitality"
但是不要担心，我们十分尊重隐私，同时也“殷勤好客”。
not the kind advertised by the Four Seasons, but the kind that says that every single person is worthy of kindness, full stop, end of sentence.
不是四季酒店那种，而是说每个人都值得友好相待，就是这样。
The biggest surprise for me of living in a community like this?
对我来说，住在这个社区最大的惊喜是什么？
You share all the domestic labor -- the repairing, the cooking, the weeding -- but you also share the emotional labor.
就是共同分担家务--修理、做饭、除草，同时分享喜怒哀乐。
Rather than depending only on the idealized family unit to get all of your emotional needs met,
不是只能向家人宣泄自己的情绪
you have two dozen other people that you can go to to talk about a hard day at work or troubleshoot how to handle an abusive teacher.
而是你可以和20多个人聊聊一天的辛苦工作，或者是讨论如何应付那个满口脏话的老师。
Teenagers in our community will often go to an adult that is not their parent to ask for advice.
我们社区的青少年经常向其他成年人寻求意见，不仅仅是他们的父母。
It's what bell hooks called "revolutionary parenting,"
这就是贝尔·胡克斯所说的“革命性教育”
this humble acknowledgment that kids are healthier when they have a wider range of adults to emulate and count on.
也就是说，当孩子们可以模仿和依靠更多的成年人时，他们会更加健康。
Turns out, adults are healthier, too. It's a lot of pressure, trying to be that perfect family behind that white picket fence.
结果，成年人也更健康了。维持白篱笆里面的模范家庭要承受很大压力。
