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Make you cum?
让你高潮吗？
And with the new iPhone, oh this is the old iPhone.
有了这支新 iPhone，噢，这支是旧款的。
You know, they look exactly the same.
它们看似一模一样。
Which would make you wonder, "Why should I just get an iPhone 6 since it is cheaper and apparently now better?"
让人不禁好奇“我干嘛不买iPhone6啊，和新款相比，iPhone 6便宜又好用”
That's because please. Please don't.
这是因为拜托，拜托不要这样。
Along with the worse iPhone we're, like, out of our minds excited to introduce a whole new line of Apple products made with the same philosophy.
除了这支较差的手机外，我们还失心疯地推出一系列苹果产品，秉持的是一贯的哲学来设计。
The iPad Backs with is just two iPad Backs stuck together.
iPad 背板就是两片背板黏在一块。
The iPod Brickle which can only play Brickle and the Apple watch which we couldn't figure out a way to make worse than it already is.
iPod Brickle只能打砖块，至于苹果手表我们无法想到如何使它更烂了。
If I'm being honest, I'm starting to get really scared of Jony, he's just taking away things at random at this point.
老实说，我开始有点怕乔尼，他现在简直是随机让东西消失。
All the G keys on our keyboards have disappeared.
键盘的G键都被拆掉了。
My car's wheel disappeared, I can't get home.
我车的轮胎也不见了，我根本回不了家。
Just be grateful I left you any ports at all.
如果我还留几个孔的话，心怀感激吧。
I wanted to make it an impenetrable glass brick, but Tim said no.
原本我想改成完全无孔的玻璃砖，不过提姆不同意。
Our design department used to have 12 people, now there's only eight.
我们设计部门原本有12个人，现在只剩8个。
What happened to the other four?
其他四人去哪了？
Careful, Tim.
小心点啊，提姆。
I miss Steve. I miss Ste...
我想史蒂夫，我想史……
Oopsie daisy, where did Tim go?
糟糕！提姆去哪了呢？
The iPhone 7 Jony giveth and Jony can taketh away.
乔尼创造出 iPhone7，也能毁灭它。
