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5.Let Them Go First—If you start talking at the same time someone else is trying to finish their thought, STOP and say, “I’m sorry, please continue” and let them finish before responding. Even if what you have to say is important or it’s an answer to the question they raised, show them your respect by letting them finish. I certainly notice when people allow me to complete my sentences without “over talking” or interrupting. Do you?
5.让对方先说完。如果别人还没说完你就开始开始说话，你就得停下来并说“不好意思，请继续”这样的话，然后等对方说完你再表达你的观点。即便你要说的话很重要，即便那是对方提出的问题的答案，也要让对方说完，这能显示出你对他人的尊重。当然，我有过这种别人不抢我话头或打断我的经历，你呢？
6.Care About What’s Being Said—This is where my dad stands out from most people. When he listens he really cares about what is being said, even if it’s a subject that doesn’t interest him. He tells me that this is his way of showing people that what they say is important and that they are valuable individuals.
6.关注谈话内容——这就是我父亲与许多人不一样的地方。他在听别人说话时，即便对那个话题并不感兴趣，他也会关注谈话内容。他对我说，这能让对方感觉到他们无论是他们的话还是他们本身都是得到重视的。
7.Listen For The Message Within The Message—Another one of my dad’s skills is to listen for the message within the message. By listening intently, he is able to grasp the topic and move more effectively into the conversation. He says that most people are looking for encouragement, answers or insights to the subjects they discuss. By listening in this manner, he is able to connect more effectively.
7.听隐含义——我父亲另一个倾听技巧是听话中之话，即隐含义。通过专心听，他能抓住主题，使谈话更好地深入下去。他说从大多数人说的话中能看出，他们在寻求鼓励，寻找答案或深刻见解。这样的倾听法让他和别人的更有助于他的人际关系。
8.Don’t Change The Subject—When you are engaged in a conversation, don’t change the subject unless the discussion is finished. I observe people who do this all the time in small group settings, business meetings and social encounters. If you change the subject of a discussion prematurely, you demonstrate a lack of interest in the discussion and indicate that what you have to say is more important.
8.不要转变话题——谈话结束前不要转换话题。通过观察，我发现人们无论是在小组讨论，商会会议还是在社交场合中谈话时总会出现谈话还没结束就转换话题的现象。如果过早转换话题，别人会以为你对讨论内容不感兴趣，而且还会误以为你过于自大。
9.Respond By Asking Questions—When you ask people questions during a conversation, you show a sincere interest in the topic. My dad says that most people operate at “the feeling level”, rather than “the thinking level”, even if they are good thinkers. I agree! My Dad’s favorite question is to ask how they FEEL about the subject they have raised.
9.以提问的方式来回应对方——在谈话中你向对方提问可以显示出你对谈话主题的兴趣。我赞成我父亲的说法：大多数人（即使很有思想的人）在回应对方时都会停留在“感觉”层面上而不是“思考”层面上。我爸爸最喜欢问对方对他们自己说的话题有什么看法。
10. Don’t Start a Side Conversation—When part of a group conversation, never start a side conversation, even if the person talking is not making eye contact with you. Yes, they should be including you in the conversation by sharing eye contact equally with each person in the group, but don’t allow their mistake to prevent you from being a good listener.
10.切忌私下讨论——在小组讨论时，即使说话人没有和你进行目光接触，也千万不要在旁边自己私下讨论。没错，他们是应该对组里的每个人都平等对待，说话时要顾及到每个人，但是也不要让他们的错误成为你善于倾听的阻碍。
Like many of the other thoughts I have shared with you, instinctively I know the right thing to do. But doing it consistently is the hard part. Being a good listener requires an intentional effort and above all, a sincere interest in other people. It is a skill worthy of mastering.
就像我之前和你们分享过的许多想法一样，我知道做对的事，但是坚持做对的事才是难点。善于倾听要特别努力。最重要的是，要真的对他人展现出兴趣。这是一种很值得掌握的技巧。
I am committed to working on being a better listener. Will you commit to showing you care about people by incorporating these ten tips into your daily routine? On a scale of 1-10, what’s your commitment?
我正在努力去更好地倾听别人。你有决心在日常生活中运用这10个技巧来表示你对别人的尊重吗？如果按照1-10的程度来分，你的决心属于哪个层次呢？
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie
让我引用戴尔卡内基的话作为结束语，他说过：“你可以通过对他人感兴趣而结交比两年时间内对你感兴趣的人更多的朋友。”
