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演讲简介：
像多数的大学生一样，埃莉諾·朗登去上课时脚步轻快，毫无牵挂；直到她开始听到那些声音。起初情况没甚么大不了，但这些声音却越来越叛逆跋扈，让她的生活陷入噩梦中。曾确诊为精神分裂症患者，经过药物治疗最后却为束手无策的体系所遗弃，埃莉諾诉说自己如何历经多年努力者挽回心理健康，以经验证明，学习倾听内在的声音让她撑了过来。
adj. 中立的，中性的
n. 中立者，空挡的
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- The day I left home for the first time to go to university was a bright day brimming with hope and optimism.
- 我第一次离家到大学念书的那天 感觉棒呆了，日子充满希望
- I'd done well at school. Expectations for me were high,
- 我学业表现不错，大家对我期望颇高
- and I gleefully entered the student life of lectures, parties and traffic cone theft.
- 我也满怀期待地投入大学生活，上课、参加派对, 喝醉了偷交通路标.
- Now appearances, of course, can be deceptive,
- 当然, 事情不能只看表面
- and to an extent, this feisty, energetic persona of lecture-going and traffic cone stealing was a veneer,
- 就某种程度而言，上课和偷交通路标这些活跃又不服输的印象只是伪装
- albeit a very well-crafted and convincing one.
- 但掩饰得很好，足以瞒过任何人
- Underneath, I was actually deeply unhappy, insecure and fundamentally frightened
- 只是我内心其实不快乐而且不安，骨子里很害怕……
- frightened of other people, of the future, of failure and of the emptiness that I felt was within me.
- 怕其他人、未来，怕失败，还有内心的空虚感
- But I was skilled at hiding it,
- 但我隐藏得很好!
- and from the outside appeared to be someone with everything to hope for and aspire to.
- 外表看来就像是对一切都充满期待与抱负
- This fantasy of invulnerability was so complete that I even deceived myself,
- 甚么都不怕的想法是如此彻底，连我自己都信以为真
- and as the first semester ended and the second began,
- 所以念完一学期；而新学期开始的时候
- there was no way that anyone could have predicted what was just about to happen.
- 根本没人能预料将要发生的事
- I was leaving a seminar when it started,
- 当时已开始上课而我正要逃学
- humming to myself, fumbling with my bag just as I'd done a hundred times before,
- 我边哼歌边收拾东西，动作一如往常熟练
- when suddenly I heard a voice calmly observe, "She is leaving the room."
- 这时传来一个冷眼旁观的声音:"她要走了"
- I looked around, and there was no one there,
- 我四下张望，但根本没人
- but the clarity and decisiveness of the comment was unmistakable.
- 那声音听来果断清晰，不可能是我听错
- Shaken, I left my books on the stairs and hurried home, and there it was again.
- 我太震惊了，连忘在阶梯上的书都没拿就冲回家，但那声音又来了!
- "She is opening the door."
- "她正要开门"
- This was the beginning. The voice had arrived.
- 就是这样开始的。这个声音在我耳边响起
- And the voice persisted, days and then weeks of it, on and on, narrating everything I did in the third person.
- 并且持续不断，每天每星期地重复 以旁观者的语气叙述我作的事
- "She is going to the library."
- "她要上图馆了"
- "She is going to a lecture."
- "她要去上课了"
- It was neutral, impassive and even, after a while, strangely companionate and reassuring,
- 这声音起初毫无感情，但一段时间后却令人莫名熟悉与安慰
- although I did notice that its calm exterior sometimes slipped and that it occasionally mirrored my own unexpressed emotion.
- 但我的确发现，这表面平静的语调有时也会不经意地泄漏我隐藏的情绪
- So, for example, if I was angry and had to hide it which I often did,
- 就拿我常需要压抑愤怒这事来说吧!
- being very adept at concealing how I really felt,
- 隐藏情绪这事我很在行的
- then the voice would sound frustrated.
- 不过那声音就会因此听起来很气馁
- Otherwise, it was neither sinister nor disturbing,
- 但其他时候，听来还不致令人不安
- although even at that point it was clear that it had something to communicate to me
- 尽管这声音当时很明显地有事要对我说
- about my emotions, particularly emotions which were remote and inaccessible.
- 尤其是我的情绪始终深藏不露的这件事
- Now it was then that I made a fatal mistake,
- 就在那时我犯了一个大错
- in that I told a friend about the voice, and she was horrified.
- 我把听到声音的说给一位朋友听，她吓坏了!
- A subtle conditioning process had begun,
- 她开始不着痕迹地导正我
- the implication that normal people don't hear voices
- 暗示幻听不是正常现象
- and the fact that I did meant that something was very seriously wrong.
- 而且我自己也觉得很不对劲
- Such fear and mistrust was infectious.
- 这样的恐惧和疑虑是会传染的
- Suddenly the voice didn't seem quite so benign anymore,
- 忽然那声音听来不再那么友善
- and when she insisted that I seek medical attention I,
- 当她坚持我必须去看医生
- duly complied, and which proved to be mistake number two.
- 我顺从地照做，但事后证明又错了!
- I spent some time telling the college G.P. about what I perceived to be the real problem:
- 之后我找校医谈，说出我担忧的问题
- anxiety, low self-worth, fears about the future,
- 像是焦虑、没自信和对未来恐惧
- and was met with bored indifference until I mentioned the voice,
- 但对方没什么兴趣，也不在乎，但当我一提到，听见有人说话这件事
- upon which he dropped his pen, swung round and began to question me with a show of real interest.
- 他立刻放下手中的笔，转过头来开始很关心地问了一些问题
- And to be fair, I was desperate for interest and help,
- 平心而论，我当时非常渴望关切和帮助
- and I began to tell him about my strange commentator.
- 所以我就把有一位"评论员"的事说出来了
- And I always wish, at this point, the voice had said, "She is digging her own grave."
- 我深信当时那声音会说："她在自掘坟墓"
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