评论
打印
Here's Why This One is Hard, by Liz
它为何如此艰难，莉兹
Well, duh. It's about sex. Talking about sex. Asking about sex. Asking for sex. Jeez. That's really fun.
好吧。这事关于性。谈论性，问询性，索要性。天吶，真有趣。
And I don't know about you, but I would much rather believe, any day of the week, that a man is too scared, too stressed, too sad, too spiritual, too angry, too fat, too crazy, too in love with his ex-girlfriend, too scared, too sensitive, too sunburned, too in love with his mother, too homicidal, too anything, than find out that he's really just not attracted to me.
我不了解你，但是我宁愿相信，不管一个礼拜的哪一天，一个男人太害怕，压力太大，太难过，太精神，太生气，太胖，太疯狂，过于深爱前女友，太恐惧，太敏感，晒太黑，过于深爱母亲，太嗜杀，太怎么样，而不是你对他没有吸引力。
Or that he doesn't want to have sex with me because then it will mean we're in a real relationship, and actually he doesn't really like me that much.
或者他不想跟我做爱是因为这意味着我们将正式步入恋情，实际上他并没有那么爱我。
It's extra confusing because we're talking about sex (embarrassing) mixed with emotions (mortifying) mixed with our own insecurities (nightmare) .
这更令人困惑，因为我们正在把性（好尴尬）与情感（好窘迫）以及我们自己的不安全感（噩梦）混为一谈。
And in the case of long-term relationships, people always tell you the sex goes away anyway, so what does it really matter if it goes away a little sooner than you wanted it to?
而且就长久的恋情而言，人们会说做爱是必然的事，所以它发生的早一些有什么关系？
Isn't the other stuff much more important, like being compatible and him being a good person and potentially a great father?
难道别的东西不是更加重要么？比如说二者和睦共处，他会变成一个好人以及一个好父亲。
Because it's such a psychologically complex issue and talking about it is so excruciating, I would almost be able to settle for the relationship with the guy who only likes sleepovers, or the boyfriend with the presumed low sex drive.
因为这是一个十分复杂的心理问题，讨论它让人感觉很难以忍受，我情愿和这个只喜欢过夜者的男人或低性欲的男朋友定下恋爱关系。
I mean, he still enjoys my company.
我是说，他依然喜欢我的陪伴。
I might be able to sleep next to the guy who has stopped wanting to have sex with me, without saying a peep.
我可以和一个只想跟我做爱的人一起睡，啥都不说。
Or keep dating the guy who seems to want to be my boyfriend but doesn't seem to have any interest in ever seeing me naked.
或者继续和这个看起来想当我男朋友但是对我裸体毫无性趣的人恋爱。
I might even be able to exist in a peaceful marriage with a wonderful man who is more like a best friend than a husband.
我也许甚至会和一个更似好友而不是丈夫的好男人开展平静的婚姻。
If it wasn't for those goddamn happy couples I know.
如果我不知道那些该死的幸福夫妻的话。
And I'm not talking about the ones you see on the streets slobbering all over each other.
而且我说的并非那些在街道上对着对方流口水的人。
Who knows what they're like behind closed doors.
谁知道他们关上门会变成什么样。
I'm talking about my friends who I know quite well, who manage to juggle work, careers, intimacy, even kids, and still manage to have sexy, loving relationships.
我说的是我一个很了解的朋友，她兼顾工作，事业，性，甚至孩子，还能有性感，有爱的恋情。
I could easily settle for less if I happened to be the type of person, upon seeing these couples, just thought, What's the big deal about that?
如果我是那种看到这些夫妻后，只是想想这并没什么大不了的类型，我会很容易知足安定。
