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Connecting with Family
和家人的沟通
On this Father’s Day weekend, I am reminiscing about my family and the connectedness I am enjoying today. I am remembering past events that have contributed to my philosophy about what it takes to have a connected family.
在这个父亲节的周末，我回忆着我的家人，回忆着我今天所享受到的和家人在一起的点点滴滴。我回忆着一些有助于我的哲学的往事，这是关于一个联系紧密的家庭需要什么的哲学。
From my experience, I define connectedness as that place in any relationship where two people meet, find safety and respect in openness, know differences will not divide, and are valued and bound together by love and the freedom to be authentically one’s self.
从我的经验看来，联系可以定义为在任何关系下两个人相遇，找到安全感并且公开地尊重对方的地方，差异并没有引起隔阂而是被珍视，他们被爱和成为真正自我的自由紧紧地联系在了一起。
Influencing Generations Through Our Choices
我们的决定影响着后代
For the last 13 years I have been engaged in researching our family’s genealogy with my now 95-year-old brother. It has been an informative and rewarding pursuit providing me an enriched perspective on life and one’s contribution to future generations.
在过去的13年里，我一直在和我现在已经95岁的弟弟一起从事研究我们的家族族谱。这是一个有教育性意义并很值得的追求，它提供给我一个丰富的角度看生活，以及一个人对未来几代人的贡献。
From my genealogical research dating back to the 1500’s, I have concluded that not much, if anything, will be remembered about us personally beyond the third generation. But, our profound choices can and probably will have a “ripple” effect on generations to come. To illustrate, one line of ancestors chose to come to America on the Mayflower. Another chose to join in the fight for independence in the American Revolution, while another chose to remain loyal to the British Crown and moved to Nova Scotia. Choices, choices, choices! They have certainly impacted generations to follow. And I realize that my choices today could also have an impact on my descendents.
从我对追溯到十五世纪的宗谱学的研究中可以总结出，在超过第三代以后我们能记住的关于我们自己的事几乎没有。然而，我们那些影响深远的决定可以对后代们有 “涟漪效应”。举个例子来说，一队祖先们选择乘“五月花号”的邮轮来到美国，另一队选择飞去美国参与支持美国独立战争，与此同时还有一部分选择忠于英国王朝而搬去了加拿大。选择，选择，又一个选择!他们毫无疑问地影响了他们的后代。而且我意识到我今天的决定也同样对我的后代们有所影响。
Learning from Relationships
从人际关系中学习
When I was only 16 years old, my father died suddenly at age 66. I knew him as a quiet, honorable, and respected man. He indeed was a man of fine character, but we never “connected.” That relationship greatly influenced my intentions as a father. So I aspired to be like him—a man of integrity; but I also choose to be a father of intentional connectedness. I have four children and fourteen grandchildren. My relationship with each one is special, unique, and greatly treasured. I experience rewarding connectedness with each one.
当我只是16岁时，我爸爸突然过世，享年66岁。我知道他是一个安静、可敬和受人尊敬的人。他确实是一个好性格的人，但是我们从未“关联”。这种关系很大地影响了我作为一名父亲的意图。所以我虽然渴望像他一样——做一个正直的人;但我也选择成为一个特意与家人有关联的父亲。我有4个小孩和14个孙子女。我和每一个人的关系都很特殊，很独特，非常珍贵。我体验着和每一个人的有益的关联。
