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The "But He's out of Town a Lot" Excuse
“但是他经常出远门”的借口
Dear Greg,
亲爱的格雷格，
I've been seeing this guy for about four months.
我和这家伙恋爱四个月了。
He goes out of town a lot, so we're just doing this casual thing.
他经常出远门，所以我们就是维持着不定期的关系。
But then we'll start spending some consistent time together, and just when I get up the nerve to have a "talk" about where the relationship is going, he has to leave town again.
但是接着我们会花一些固定的时间在一起，然后正当我鼓起勇气谈谈我们恋爱关系的进展时，他有要出远门了。
I feel stupid talking to him about things when he's just about to leave town.
我觉得在他要出远门的时候跟他谈论这些事情很愚蠢。
But when he gets back, I feel stupid bringing it up when we haven't seen each other in a while.
但是当他回来之后，我觉得在彼此有段时间没见的情况下重提此事也很蠢。
It's hard for me to broach this subject—we have such a nice time together that I don't want to ruin it with a "relationship" talk.
提出这个问题对我来说很难，我们一起度过了许多美好的时光，我不想因为一次“恋爱关系”的谈话而毁了它。
Sighed Marissa
玛丽萨
Dear Time Traveler,
亲爱的时间旅行者，
Here's the little secret about some guys who travel: They look forward to leaving.
这是一些旅行者的小秘密：他们期待离开。
They quite like having the frequent flier miles and the built-in escape hatch.
他们很喜欢飞行里程和内置的逃生舱。
It's hard to hit a moving target.
移动的靶子很难击中。
There are ways to travel and be in a relationship, and there are ways to travel and make sure you stay out of one.
有的方法可以一边旅行一边维持恋爱关系，有的方法可以在旅行的同时摆脱恋爱关系。
The easy way to know the difference is if the guy tells you all the time how bummed he is that he has to keep leaving you.
最容易的区分方式在于男人是否一直在向你倾诉离开你他有多么的烦恼。
If he is not making a serious effort to make sure that while he's out of town you don't go out and find someone else, then I think you've just boarded the he's-just-not-into-you jet.
如果他没有十分努力以确保在他离开期间你不会去找别人，那么我觉得你应该知道你登上的是一架他并没有那么喜欢你的飞机。
Buckle up. Greg
系好安全带。格雷格
You have every right to know what's going on between you and someone you're knocking socks with.
你有权知道你和自己同床共枕的人之间发生了什么。
And the more confident you are that you deserve that (and much more) , the more you'll be able to ask your big questions in a way that won't feel heavy and dramatic, I guarantee you.
你越自信你应得的(以及更多)，我保证你更能在问大问题时不会感到沉重和戏剧性。
It's So Simple
显而易见
From this moment on, right now, as you read this, make this solemn vow about your future romantic relationships: no more murky, no more gray, no more unidentified, and no more undeclared.
从这一刻开始，现在，当你读这本书的时候，对你未来的爱情做出这个庄严的宣誓：不再困惑，不再阴郁，没有更多不确定，也没有更多不明。
And if at all possible, try to know someone as best you can before you get naked with them.
如果这些都可以实现的话，试着在跟人滚床单前先尽可能的了解对方。
