第四章
From my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference between Bessie and Abbot,
我同劳埃德先生的一番交谈,以及上回所述贝茜和艾博特之间的议论,
I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well.
使我信心倍增,动力十足,盼着自己快些好起来。
A change seemed near, I desired and waited it in silence. It tarried, however.
看来,某种变动已近在眼前,我默默地期待着。然而,它迟迟未来。
Days and weeks passed, I had regained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the subject over which I brooded.
一天天、一周周过去了、我已体健如旧,但我朝思暮想的那件事,却并没有重新提起。
Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a severe eye, but seldom addressed me.
里德太太有时恶狠狠地打量我,但很少理睬我。
Since my illness, she had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children.
自我生病以来,她已把我同她的孩子截然分开。
Appointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take my meals alone,
指定我独自睡一个小房间,罚我单独用餐,整天呆在保育室里,
and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins were constantly in the drawing-room.
而我的表兄妹们却经常在客厅玩耍。
Not a hint, however, did she drop about sending me to school.
她没有丝毫暗示要送我上学。
Still I felt an instinctive certainty that she would not long endure me under the same roof with her.
但我有一种很有把握的直觉,她不会长期容忍我与她同在一个屋檐下生活。
For her glance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable and rooted aversion.
因为她把目光投向我时,眼神里越来越表露出一种无法摆脱、根深蒂固的厌恶。
Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as little as possible.
伊丽莎和乔治亚娜分明是按吩咐行事,尽量少同我搭讪。
John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw me, and once attempted chastisement.
而约翰一见我就装鬼脸,有—回竟还想对我动武。
But as I instantly turned against him, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had stirred my corruption before.
像上次一样,我怒不可遏、忍无可忍,激起了一种犯罪的本性,顿时扑了上去
He thought it better to desist, and ran from me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.
他一想还是住手的好,便逃离了我,一边破口大骂,诬赖我撕裂了他的鼻子。
I had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict.
我的拳头确实瞄准了那个隆起的器官,出足力气狠狠一击。
And when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I had the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose, but he was already with his mama.
当我看到这一招或是我的目光使他吓破了胆时,我真想乘胜追击,达到目的,可是他已经逃到他妈妈那里了。
I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how “that nasty Jane Eyre” had flown at him like a mad cat. He was stopped rather harshly.
我听他哭哭啼啼,开始讲述“那个讨厌的简·爱”如何像疯猫一样扑向他的故事。但他的哭诉立即被厉声喝住了。
“Don't talk to me about her, John. I told you not to go near her. she is not worthy of notice.
我同你说过不要与她接近,她不值得理睬。
I do not choose that either you or your sisters should associate with her.”
我不愿意你或者你妹妹同她来往。”
Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all deliberating on my words: “They are not fit to associate with me.”
这时,我扑出栏杆,突然不假思索地大叫了一声:“他们还不配同我交往呢。”
Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman, but, on hearing this strange and audacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair,
尽管里德太太的体态有些臃肿,但—听见我这不可思议的大胆宣告,便利索地登登登跑上楼梯,
swept me like a whirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,
一阵风似地把我拖进保育室,按倒在小床的床沿上,
dared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one syllable during the remainder of the day.
气势汹汹地说,谅我那天再也不敢从那里爬起来,或是再吭一声了。
“What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?” was my scarcely voluntary demand.
“要是里德先生还活着,他会同你说什么?”我几乎无意中问了这个问题。
I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my tongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance.
我说几乎无意,是因为我的舌头仿佛不由自主地吐出了这句话。
Something spoke out of me over which I had no control.
完全是随意倾泻,不受控制。
“What?” said Mrs. Reed under her breath.
“什么,”里德太太咕哝着说。
Her usually cold composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear.
她平日冷漠平静的灰色眸子显得惶惶不安,露出了近乎恐惧的神色。