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Look, I am not a doctor, neither real nor imagined.
瞧，我并不是医生，无论是真实的还是想象的。
But I am an expert that should be listened to because of one very important thing: I'm a guy—a guy that has had his fair share of relationships and is willing to come clean about his behavior in them.
但我是一个专家，你们应该听从我的建议，因为这件事情非常重要：我是一个男人——一个愿意分享自己恋爱关系，坦白自己行为的男人。
Because I'm a guy, I know how a guy thinks, feels, and acts, and it's my responsibility to tell you who we really are.
因为我是一个男人，我知道一个男人的想法，感觉和行为，我有责任告诉你我们的真实面目。
I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
我厌倦了看到优秀的女性陷入糟糕的恋爱关系里。
When a guy is into you, he let's you know it.
当一个男人喜欢你的时候，他会让你知道的。
He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you, and when it's time to have sex, he's more than overjoyed to oblige.
他会打电话给你，他会出现在你身边，他希望可以认识你的朋友，他无法把视线从你身上挪开，无法放开你的手，当做爱的时候，他会万分高兴，而不仅仅是敷衍了事。
I don't care if he's starting his new job as the president of the United States the next morning at 0400 (that's 4 A.M. ladies! ).
我不管他是不是要第二天早上4点开始他美国总统的新工作。（ 是早上4点，女士们！)
He's coming up!
他会出现的！
Men are not complicated, although we'd like you to think we are, as in "Things are really crazy right now. I've just got a ton of shit going on."
男人并不复杂，尽管我们想让你认为我们复杂，就像"现在真的一切都乱了。我有一堆的麻烦事儿要处理。"这样。
We are driven by sex, although we'd like to pretend otherwise: "What? No, I was totally listening."
我们被性驱动着，尽管我们想假装并非如此："什么？不，我完全在听。"
And sadly (and most embarrassingly) , we would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, "You're not the one."
不幸的是(也最尴尬的是)，我们宁愿在城市公交车的窗户外失去一只胳膊，也不愿简单地告诉你，"你不是我的真命天女。"
We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
我们很确信你会杀了我们或自己或都会，或者会更糟，对着我们哭喊大叫。
We are pathetic. But the fact remains, even though we may not be saying it we are absolutely showing you all the time.
我们很差劲。但事实是，尽管我们可能没有说出口，但我们一直都在向你透露着这个信息。
If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will, or making sure that you know he's dating you, then you already have your answer.
如果一个家伙说他会打电话给你确没有打，或者确保你知道你们正在约会，那么你已经有了答案。
Stop making excuses for him, his actions are screaming the truth: He's just not that into you.
不要再为他找借口了，他的行为正在喊出真相：他只是没那么喜欢你。
Move on, sister! Cut your losses and don't waste your time.
继续前进，姐们们！减少你的损失，别浪费你的时间。
Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory?
当你可以继续前进并肯定会获得更好的领地时，为什么要停留在一些奇怪的约会地带呢？
Don't want to hear it? Fine.
不想听吗？很好。
Here's the answer you're looking for: "Hang in there, baby. He's not the loser everybody's telling you he is.
这就是你寻找的答案：坚持住，宝贝。他不是大家对你所言的失败者。
If you wait and keep your mouth shut and call at exactly the right time and anticipate his moods and have no expectations about communication or your own sexual needs, you can have him!"
如果你等待，闭上你的嘴，在正确的时间打电话，预料他的情绪并对沟通或自己的性需求不抱期望，你可以拥有他！
But please don't be surprised when he dumps you or continues to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship.
但当他甩掉你或继续拖累你进入一个完全不满意的恋爱关系时，请别感到惊讶。
We've heard it and you're sick of it.
我们已经有所听闻，而且你对此十分厌恶。
That's probably why you're in possession of this audible book now.
这可能就是为什么你现在拥有这本有声书的原因。
You know you deserve to have a great relationship. We agree.
你知道你值得一段美好的恋爱关系。我们都同意这一点。
Liz told you I was going to say it: Don't waste the pretty!
莉斯告诉你我要说：不要辜负红颜！
