It's hard. We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic.
这很困难。在生活中我们被教导说应该尽量往好处想,要乐观。
Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first.
但不是在这种情况下。在这种情况下,要看着黑暗的一面。首先假设这是拒绝。
Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's intoxicatingly liberating.
假设你是惯例,而非例外。这是令人兴奋的解放。
But we also know it's not an easy concept. Because this is what we do: We go out with someone, we get excited about them, and then they do something that mildly disappoints us.
但我们也知道这不是一个简单的概念。因为这是我们所做的:我们和某人出去,我们对他们很感兴趣,然后他们做一些让我们失望的事情。
Then they keep doing a lot more things that disappoint us.
然后他们继续做更多让我们失望的事情。
Then we go into hyper-excuse mode for weeks or possibly months, because the last thing we want to think is that this great man that we are so excited about is in the process of turning into a creep.
然后我们进入长达几周或者数月的大肆找借口模式,因为我们最无法想象的就是这个我们为之兴奋的好男人正在慢慢变成一个怪人。
We try to come up with some explanation for why they're behaving that way, any explanation, no matter how ridiculous, than the one explanation that's the truth: He's just not that into me.
我们试图想出一些他们行为的解释,任何解释都行,无论多么可笑,而不是一个真相的解释:他只是没那么喜欢我。
That's why we've included questions from women taken from real situations.
这就是为什么我们囊括女性真实情况问题的原因。
They represent the basic excuses we all use that keep us in situations far longer than we should be.
它们代表了我们通常使用的借口,让我们身处状况的时间比我们本该呆的更长。
So listen, enjoy, and hopefully learn from other women's confusion.
所以请凝听并享受,希望你们可以从其他女性的困扰中有所借鉴。
And above all, if the guy you're dating doesn't seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start “figuring him out,” please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you.
最重要的是,如果你约会的家伙似乎并没有那么喜欢你,或者你觉得有必要开始看清他,请考虑这个想法——他可能只是不那么喜欢你。
And then free yourself to go find the one that is.
然后给自己自由去寻找真命天子。