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What would be a good end of life?
什么是一个生活美好的结尾？
And I'm talking about the very end.
我所说的是最终的结尾
I'm talking about dying.
我所说的是死亡
We all think a lot about how to live well.
我们都在想如何更好的生活
I'd like to talk about increasing our chances of dying well.
而我想要谈的是，如何更美好地告别人生
I'm not a geriatrician.
我并不是老年病学家
I design reading programs for preschoolers.
我为学前班的孩子设计阅读课程
What I know about this topic
我对这个话题的了解
comes from a qualitative study with a sample size of two.
来源于一个定性的研究，其中有两个案例
In the last few years, I helped two friends
在过去的几年，我帮助两个好朋友
have the end of life they wanted.
以他们想要的方式，结束了他们的生命
Jim and Shirley Modini spent their 68 years of marriage Jim
和 Shirley Modini度过了他们68年的婚姻生活
living off the grid on their 1,700-acre ranch
生活在远离城镇的，1,700英亩的牧场里
in the mountains of Sonoma County. Sonoma
县的山区
They kept just enough livestock to make ends meet
他们喂养了仅仅是能养活他们自己的家禽
so that the majority of their ranch would remain a refuge
所以这大部分的牧场变成了避难所
for the bears and lions and so many other things
给熊，狮子和其他的动物
that lived there.
生活在那里
This was their dream.
这正是他们的梦想
I met Jim and Shirley in their 80s.
我在两个老人年迈八十的时候遇见他们
They were both only children who chose not to have kids.
他们只有一个子女，而他选择不要孩子
As we became friends, I became their trustee
当我们成为朋友后，我变成了他们的托管人
and their medical advocate,
与他们的医疗顾问
but more importantly, I became
但是更重要的是
the person who managed their end-of-life experiences.
我成为了帮助他们结束生活的那个人
And we learned a few things about how to have a good end.
并且我们学到了，如何有个好的结局
In their final years, Jim and Shirley
在最后的几年里， Jim和 Shirley
faced cancers, fractures, infections, neurological illness.
他们面对着癌症，骨折，传染病和神经上上的疾病
It's true.
这是真的
At the end, our bodily functions
人到了最后，我们身体的功能
and independence are declining to zero.
和独立性会降低到零
What we found is that, with a plan and the right people,
我们发现，如果有正确的计划和人
quality of life can remain high.
他们还是可以拥有高品质的生活
The beginning of the end is triggered
结束的开始是被其他所引起的
by a mortality awareness event, and during this time,
像对死亡的意识，并且在此期间
Jim and Shirley chose ACR nature preserves Jim
和 Shirley选择了ACR自然保护区
to take their ranch over when they were gone.
在他们去世后接手牧场
This gave them the peace of mind to move forward.
这给了他们一片祥和，然后继续前行
It might be a diagnosis. It might be your intuition.
这可能是个诊断，也可能是你的直觉
But one day, you're going to say, "This thing is going to get me."
有一天，你会说，这样的事情会打垮我
Jim and Shirley spent this time Jim
和Shirley用这些时间
letting friends know that their end was near
让他们的朋友知道，离他们离开人世的时间不远了
and that they were okay with that.
而他们对此没有埋怨
Dying from cancer and dying from neurological illness
因为患癌症与神经疾病而死去
are different.
是不一样的
In both cases, last days are about quiet reassurance.
两种情况，最后的几天都非常安详
Jim died first. He was conscious until the very end, Jim
先离去，到最后他都非常的清醒
but on his last day he couldn't talk.
但是在他最后一天，他说不了话
Through his eyes, we knew when he needed to hear again,
通过他的眼睛，我们知道当他想听我们说话
"It is all set, Jim. We're going to take care of Shirley
“什么都很好，Jim。我们会好好照顾 Shirley。
right here at the ranch,
就在此时，在牧场
and ACR's going to take care of your wildlife forever."
ACR会永远帮你保护好这里的野生动植物
From this experience I'm going to share five practices.
从这个经历中，我想和大家分享五个方案
I've put worksheets online,
我已经把步骤公布在了网上
so if you'd like, you can plan your own end.
所以如果你愿意，你可以计划你自己结束的方式
It starts with a plan.
这个步骤以着手计划开始
Most people say, "I'd like to die at home."
很多人会说”我愿意死在家里."
Eighty percent of Americans die in a hospital
但是百分之八十的美国人，在医院里死去
or a nursing home.
或者是养老院
Saying we'd like to die at home is not a plan.
所以说想死在家里，并不是一个计划
A lot of people say, "If I get like that, just shoot me."
很多人又会说“如果我像那样，一枪打死我”
This is not a plan either; this is illegal.
这也不是，因为不合法
