I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome. I had to think clearly, because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.
我尽可能地压抑住恐惧。我已经做出了决定。再浪费时间为那样的结局而痛苦就没有意义了。我得好好想想,因为爱丽丝和贾斯帕正等着我,因为躲开他们是完全不可能的,也是完全必要的。
I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them from being suspicious? I choked back the dread, the anxiety, tried to stifle it. I couldn't afford it now. I didn't know when he would return.
我忽然感到一阵欣慰,幸好贾斯帕不在。如果他在这里,他一定会感觉到过去的五分钟里,我所感受到的痛苦,那我还可能不让他们产生怀疑吗?我咽下自己的恐惧和不安,努力压制住自己的情绪。我现在还没法做到这一点。我不知道他什么时候会回来。
I concentrated on my escape. I had to hope that my familiarity with the airport would turn the odds in my favor. Somehow, I had to keep Alice away…
我全神贯注地思考着脱身之计。我只能寄希望于我对机场的熟悉能够增加一点我的胜算。不管怎样,我得先让爱丽丝离开……
I knew Alice was in the other room waiting for me, curious. But I had to deal with one more thing in private, before Jasper was back.
我知道爱丽丝正在另一个房间里满心好奇地等着我。但在贾斯帕回来以前,我得在私下里处理另一件事。
I had to accept that I wouldn't see Edward again, not even one last glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. I was going to hurt him, and I couldn't say goodbye. I let the waves of torture wash over me, have their way for a time. Then I pushed them back, too, and went to face Alice.
我必须接受这一点:我再也见不到爱德华了。甚至来不及再看他的脸一眼,我就得去那间满是镜子的屋子。我会让他很受伤的,而且我不能跟他道别。有一阵子,我任由那阵痛楚肆无忌惮地席卷了我。随后,我同样把这痛楚推到一旁,去面对爱丽丝。
The only expression I could manage was a dull, dead look. I saw her alarm and I didn't wait for her to ask. I had just one script and I'd never manage improvisation now.
我千方百计才控制住的唯一一个表情是一张呆滞的,死气沉沉的脸。我看到了她警惕的神情,但我等不及她发问。我只有一个剧本,而我还没尝试过临场发挥。
"My mom was worried, she wanted to come home. But it's okay, I convinced her to stay away." My voice was lifeless.
“我妈妈很担心,她想赶回家。但已经没事了,我说服了她,让她留在那边。”我的声音毫无生气。
"We'll make sure she's fine, Bella, don't worry."
“我们会确保她没事的,贝拉,别担心。”