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有声读物《苔丝》第14期:吃亏的是女人(2)

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When Clare woke up the next morningthe sky was grey and the sun was not shining

第二天早晨克莱尔睡醒时,天空灰蒙蒙的,没有阳光照耀。
The fireplace in the room was full of cold ashesThe two full glasses of wine still stood untouched on the table
房间的壁炉里堆满了冰冷的柴灰。两杯满满的酒仍旧摆在桌子上,不曾被动过。
When the cleaning woman camehe sent her awaynot wanting a third person in the house He found wood to make a fireand prepared breakfast
当那个女清洁工到来时,他把她打发走了,他不想房子里有第三个人。他找了些木头,生起了火,开始做早饭。
People passing the farmhouse saw the smoke rising from the chimneyand envied the newly- married couple in their happiness
路过这农舍的人看到烟囱里升起炊烟,都羡慕这对幸福的新婚夫妇。
Breakfast is ready!’he called upstairs in a normal voice
“早饭难备好了!”他用一种平常的声音冲着楼上喊道。
Tess came down immediatelyShe was already dressedbut her hands and face were cold
苔丝马上就下来了。她已经穿好了衣服,但手和脸都冰凉冰凉的。
She had no fire in her bedroomwhere she had been sitting waiting for his calland staring at the dying mistletoe
她的卧室里没有生火,她就在那儿一直坐着,盯着那束快要枯死的藤枝,等着他叫她。
Clare's polite words gave her a moment of hopewhich diedhoweverwhen she saw his face
克莱尔彬彬有礼的言谈让她产生了一瞬间的希望,但是,当她看到他的面孔时,这希望消逝了。
They were bothin factthe ashes of their former fires
实际上,他们俩都是他们从前火焰的灰烬。
After last night's passionate sorrowthey both felt heavy and lacking in energy
在经历了昨夜的极度悲痛之后,他们俩都很沉重,而且疲惫不堪。
Tess went up to Angeltouching him lightly with her fingersWas this really the man who once loved her
苔丝走到安吉尔身边,用手指轻轻地碰碰他。这真地就是那个曾经爱过她的男人吗?
Her eyes were brighther cheeks still roundbut her lips were pale
她的眼睛晶莹明亮,两颊依然丰满圆润,只是她的双唇没有血色。
She looked absolutely pureAngel looked at her in wonder. ‘TessSay it isn't trueIt can't be true!’ ‘It is true.’
她看起来纯洁得不容置疑。安吉尔惊诧地注视着她。“苔丝!说吧,那不是真的!那不可能是真的!”“是真的。”
Every word?’
“句句是真?”
Every word.’
“句句是真。”
He world almost have preferred her to lieso that he could believe her blindlybut she repeated,‘It is true.’
他几乎宁愿她撒个谎,这样他就可以睁只眼闭只眼地相信她,但是她重复道:“是真的。”
Is he living?’asked Angel
“他还活着吗?”安吉尔问道。
The baby died.’
“孩子死了。”
But the man?’
“可那个人呢?”
He is alive.’
“他还活着”。
Is he in England?’
“他在英国吗?”
Yes.’
“是的。”
Despair passed over Clare's faceHe moved vaguely around the room
一种绝望的神情掠过克莱尔的脸,他茫然地在房间里踱来踱去。
Look,’he said,‘I thoughtany man would have thoughtthat if I didn't look for knowledgegood familyand wealth in a wife
“你瞧,”他说,“我原以为——任何男人都会这么以为的——如果在一个妻子身上,我不寻求学识、好的出身和财富的话,
if I sacrificed all thatI would be sure of finding a country girl who was at least purebutbut I should not accuse you.’
如果我牺牲这一切的话,那么我确信我会找到一个至少是纯洁的乡下姑娘……但是……但是,我不应该谴责你。”
Tess understood his feelings perfectlyShe saw that he had lost in every way
苔丝了解他的感情,知道他已经完全不知所措了。
AngelI would not have married you if I had not known thatafter allthere is a way out for youonly I hoped you would never… ’She was close to tears
“安吉尔,假如当时我没有意识到这事对你来说至少还有一条出路的话,我是不会和你结婚的……只是我曾希望你将永远不会……”她说着就要哭了。
A way out?’
“一条出路?”
You can divorce me.’
“你可以和我离婚。”
Good heavensHow can you be so stupidHow can I divorce you?’
“天哪!你怎么会这么傻呢?我怎么能同你离婚呢?”
Can't younow I have told you everything?’
“你难道不能吗,既然我已经把一切都告诉你了?”
Oh Tessyou are so childishYou don't understand the lawNoI can't.’
“哦,苔丝,你太幼稚了!你不懂法律。不,我不能离婚。”
There was shame and misery in Tess's face
苔丝的脸上露出了羞愧、痛苦的神情。
I thought you could,’she whispered.‘Don't think I planned thisI really believed you could take that way out
“我原以为你能这么做的,”她轻声说,“不要认为我是算计好的!我真地以为你可以用这种方式解脱的。
Ohthen I ought to have done it last nightBut I didn't have the courageThat's just like me!’
哦,那昨晚我真应该那么做,可是我没有胆量。我这个人就是这样!”
The courage to do what?’he asked
“有胆量去做什么?”他问。
To put an end to myself.’
“结束我自己的生命。”
Where?’
“在哪儿?”
In the bedroomunder your mistletoeWith the rope from my boxBut I couldn't in the endI was afraid that people would talk and you would suffer from that.’
“在卧室里,在你的桑藤下。用我箱子上解下的绳子。但是最终我没做成!我怕人们会议论,你会因此蒙受痛苦。”
Clare was shaken by this unexpected confession
克莱尔被这出乎意料的供认惊得发颤。
NowlistenYou must never think of such a wicked thing againPromise me as your husband never to do anything like that.’
“现在,听着。你必须永远不再想那样邪恶的事情。向我,向你的丈夫保证你永远不会做出那种事情。”
I promiseI see it was wickedButAngelit was to set you freeand to avoid a divorcewhich everyone would talk about
“我保证。我明白这是邪恶的。但是,安吉尔,这是让你获得自由的办法。这样就可以避免一次让人人都议论的离婚。
But dying by my own hand is too good for meYoumy husbandshould kill meI think I would love you moreif that were possibleif you could bring yourself to do itI am so much in your way!’
但是,死在我自己手里对我太宽容了。你,我的丈夫,应该杀了我。如果有这种可能,如果你让你自己这么做的话,我想我会更爱你的。我给你带来了这么多的麻烦!”
QuietDon't talk about it.’
“别说了!别再说这个了。”
Welljust as you wishI will do whatever you like.’They sat down to breakfasttired and sad
“好,照你的意思做,无论你想要我做什么,我都会照办的。”又疲惫又伤心地,他们坐下来吃早饭。
They did not look at each other and they did not eat muchAngel left soon afterwards to start his studies at the flourmill nearby
他们谁也没看对方一眼,草草地吃了一点儿。安吉尔吃完后很快就离开了,到附近的面粉厂,开始学习技术。
Tess cleared the ashes from the fireplacecleaned the house and prepared the lunchwaiting for his return
苔丝清扫了壁炉里的灰烬,打扫了房子,准备午饭,等着他回来。
At lunch they talked politely of work at the flourmill and methods of millingIn the afternoon he went back to the milland in the evening he studied his books and papers
吃午饭时他们客气地谈了谈面粉厂的工作情况以及加工面粉的方法。下午,他又到面粉厂去了,晚上就看他的书和报纸。
Tess felt she was in his way and went to the kitchenHe came to find her there
苔丝觉得自己妨碍他了,就到厨房去了。他到那儿找到了她。
Don't work in the kitchen like this,’he said.‘You're not my servantyou're my wife.’
“不要在厨房里这样干活。”他说道,“你不是我的用人,你是我的妻子。”
She looked happier.‘You meanI can think of myself as that?’She askedtrembling
她看起来高兴了些。“你的意思是,我可以这样看待自己?”
What do you meanTessYou are my wifeof course.’
“苔丝,你这是什么意思?当然了,你是我的妻子。”
I don't knowshe saidwith tears in her eyes.‘I told you long ago I wasn't good enough for youAnd I'm not good enoughI was rightBut you persuaded me!’
“我不知道。”她说道,眼里噙着泪水。“我很早以前就给你讲过,我不够好,配不上你。现在我也不够好!我是对的!但是你说服了我!”
She turned her back on himsobbing as if her heart would breakIt would have won round any man but Angel Clare
她转过身去背对着他,心痛欲碎般地啜泣着。这本来会使任何一个男人软下心来,但是安吉尔·克莱尔却无动于衷。
Deep in him lay a hard logicwhich had resisted the Churchand now resisted TessShe accepted his treatment of her as being what she deserved
在他内心深处,存在着一种坚硬的理性,这种理性让他抵触过教会,现在又来抵触苔丝了。
She would never have thought of criticizing his hardnessTo her he was still perfection
她接受了他对她的态度,把它看做理所当然的。在她眼里,他依然完美。
Another day passed by in the same wayOnly once did Tess try to get closer to her husband
同样的生活又过去了一天。苔丝只尝试过一次去接近她的丈夫。
As he was leaving for the flourmillshe put up her mouth to be kissedHe ignored the invitationand said goodbye coldly
他要离开到面粉厂去的时候,她凑上她的唇,等他吻她。他对她的主动表示不加理睬,只是冷冷地说了声再见。
She felt as if he had hit herHow often had he wanted to kiss her in those happy days at Talbothays
当时她的感觉就像挨了他的打。在塔尔勃塞那些快乐的日子里,他是多么经常地想要吻她啊!
But on his way to the mill Angel regretted his coldnessHe wished he had been kinder to her and kissed her once at least
但是在去往面粉厂的路上,安吉乐对自己的冷酷无情感到后悔。他真希望自己刚才能对她好一些,至少吻她一下。
So they lived through another day-together in the same housebut more separately than ever before
于是,他们又捱过去了一天——一起生活在同一幢屋里,可是彼此间的距离却比以往任何时候都大。
Clare was desperately wondering what to doTess no longer even hoped for forgivenessThat evening she said bravely
克莱尔拼命地考虑该怎么办。苔丝对得到宽恕甚至都不再抱希望了。那天晚上,她勇敢地说道:
I suppose you aren't going to live with me longare youAngel?’She found it difficult to control the muscles of her face
“我猜想你不打算同我长久地一起生活,是吗,安吉尔?”她发现想控制面部的肌肉真是困难。
NoHow can we live together as man and wife while that man livesHe is your natural husbandI'm notIf he were deadthat might be different
“是的。那个人还活着,我们怎么能像夫妇那样一起生活呢?他是你实质上的丈夫,而我却不是。如果他已经死了,情况也许会不同。
Anywayhave you thought of the futurehave you thought we might have childrenThey would find out about thisEverybody would talk about it
不过,你考虑过将来没有?考虑过我们也许会有孩子吗?他们会知道这件事,人人都会议论它。
Can you imagine them growing up under a cloud like thatThey would hate you for it.’
你能想象他们在那样的阴影中成长吗?他们会因此而恨你的。”
Tess's head was bentHer eyes felt so heavy they were almost closed.‘NoI can't ask you to stay with me,’she whispered.‘I hadn't thought of it like that.’
苔丝的头垂下去了。她的眼睛感到沉重得几乎要闭上了。“不,我不能要求你和我在一起,”她轻声说道,“我还从没考虑过那些事情。”
She had hopedas women dothat living together for a time would break down his coldnessBeing near him every day was her only hope of winning him back
她本来希望,像所有女人们会做的那样,一起生活一段时间,会消除他的冷漠。她赢回他的心的唯一希望便是每天都伴在他身旁。
But she had never imagined she might have children who would reject herShe now remembered how she had criticized her mother for bringing babies into the world without being able to look after them
但她从来都没想过她也许会有孩子,而他们会排斥她。她现在想起来她怎样地责怪过她母亲,说她无力照管孩子,却把他们带到这个世界来了。
She realized that she might have made the same mistake as Joan DurbeyfieldShe completely accepted Angel's argument
她意识到,她也许会和琼·德北犯同样的错误。她完全接受了安吉尔的论点。
She could have argued that if they went as planned to farm in another countrynobody would know about her pastBut perhaps she was right not to argue
她原可以争辩说,他们可以按照原计划到另一个国家的农场去,在那儿,没有人会知道她的过去。但是她没有争辩,也许这是对的。
A woman knows not only her own sorrow but also her husband'sHe might keep the bitterness alive in his hearteven if nobody knew or talked about it at allShe had lost
一个女人不但了解自己的痛苦,而且了解她丈夫的痛苦。即使根本没有人知道或提起这件事,他也许还是会让这份苦楚存在他心里。她已经输了。
On the third day she said,‘I accept what you sayWe must separate.’
到了第三天,她说:“我接受你讲的道理。我们必须分开。”
But what can you do?’
“但是你怎么办呢?”
I can go home.’
“我可以回娘家。”
Clare had not thought of that.‘Can you really?’
克莱尔不曾想到过这事。“你真的行吗?”
YesIf I am with you all the timeI may persuade you to stayagainst your better judgementThen you and I would both be sorryI must go.’
“是的,如果我和你朝夕相处的话,我也许会说服你留下来,这有悖你更为合理的判断,然后我们俩都会后悔的。我必须走。”
Right,’said AngelHis face was pale but his voice was determined
“你说得对,”安吉尔说。他的脸很苍白,但他的语气很坚决。
Tess was slightly shockedHe had agreed so quickly to her generous offer
苔丝微微有些震惊。对她慷慨大方的提议,他竟同意得这么快!
I didn't like to suggest it,’he said,‘but as you haveI think it's a good idea to partat least for a whileGod knowswe may come togetner again one day!’
“我并不想提出这个建议,”他说,“但是你既然提出了,我认为分开是个好办法——至少分开一段时间。上帝知道,也许有朝一日,我们又会走到一起的!”
So they both prepared to leave the following dayThat night Tess was woken by a noise in the house
于是两个人都准备第二天离开。当晚,苔丝被房子里发出的声响惊醒了。
At first she thought Angel was coming to her bedroomand her heart beat wildly with joyBut then she saw his eyes staring emptily ahead of himand knew he was walking in his sleep
起先,她以为是安吉尔到她卧室来了,她的心欢喜得一阵狂跳。但是,随后她看清了他的眼睛正茫然空洞地直视着前方,知道他这是在梦游。
He came to the middle of her room and said very sadly,‘DeadDeadDeadPoor darling TessSo sweetso goodso pureMy wifedead!’
他来到她房间当中,悲戚地说道:“死了!死了!死了!可怜的,亲爱的苔丝!你是多么温柔,多么可爱,多么纯洁呀!”
These wordswhich he would never say when awakewere very sweet to TessShe would not have moved to save her life
这些他醒着的时候永远不会说的话,在苔丝听来,是那么地甜蜜。她不愿为拯救自己而躲避。
She lay in absolute stillnesstrying not to breathewondering what he was going to do with herHer trust in him was complete
她一动也不动地躺着,尽力不呼吸。她急切地想知道他会对她做些什么。她对他的信任是完完全全的。
He picked her up and carried her to the stairsWas he going to throw her downShe knew he was leaving her the next dayperhaps for everShe almost hoped they would fall and die together
他把她抱起来,托着她朝楼梯走去。他要把她摔下去吗?她知道他明天就要离开她了,也许是永远地离开了。她几乎希望他们一起跌下楼,一起死去。
He continued downstairstaking her out of the house towards the riverShe had given herself totally up to himand did not care what happened to her as long as she was with him
他继续下楼,又把她抱出了房子,朝那条河走去。她把自己整个儿托付给他了,只要能和他在一起,她不在乎她会出什么事。
They arrived at a place where the river was fast and deepand Angel started to cross it on the narrow footbridgestill holding Tess
他们到了一个河水又急又深的地方,安吉尔还是抱着苔丝,开始穿越那条狭窄的人行桥。
Perhaps he wanted to drown herEven that would be better than separation
也许他想淹死她。但即使是那样,也比分离好啊。
As they crossedthe water rushed fiercely below themIf Tess had moved in his armsthey would both have fallen into the dangerous water
在他们过桥的时候,下面的河水在凶猛湍急地奔流。如果苔丝在他怀里动一动,他们就会双双落入这凶多吉少的河流中。
But she had no right to take his lifealthough her own was worthlessso she stayed still
尽管她自己的生命无足轻重,但是她没有权力带走他的生命,因此,她静静地躺着。
Angel walked purposefully towards a ruined church near the riverAgainst the old wall was an empty stone tomb
安吉尔下意识地走到了河流附近的一座残破的教堂。靠着那座旧墙,有一个空石墓。
In this he carefully laid Tessand kissing her lipssighed deeply and happily
他把苔丝小心翼翼地放到了里面,吻着她的唇,深深地、愉快地叹息着。
He immediately lay down on the ground next to the tomband looked fast asleep
然后,他就躺倒在坟墓旁边的地面上。看起来他已经熟睡了。
Tess stepped out of the tomb and managed to persuade Angel to walk back to the housewithout waking him
苔丝从坟墓中走了出来,她设法诱导安吉尔和她走回家去,又不惊醒他。
It was very cold outsideand both had only night clothes on
外面很冷,而他们俩都只穿着睡衣。
She helped him to his sofa bed in the living roomand he still did not wake up
她扶他上了起居室里他那张沙发床,而他仍然没有醒过来。
Next morning he seemed to remember nothing of the night's experiencesand Tess did not refer to his sleepwalking
第二天早晨,他像是一点儿也记不起来夜里的经历了,而苔丝也没有提起他梦游的事。
They finished packing and left the farmhousewhere they had hoped to be so happy
他们收拾好了行李,就离开了农舍——他们原来希望在那儿度过一段幸福时光的。
After driving some distance Angel stopped the carriage to get down and continue on foot
驾车前行了一段路后,安吉尔停住马车,下来继续步行。
Tess was going further on in the carriageHe spoke seriously to her as they separated
苔丝还要坐着马车往前走。在他们告别的时候,他神情严肃地对她说了些话。
Now remember,’he said,‘ I am not angry with youbut I cannot bear to live with you at the moment
“嗯,记住,”他说,“我不怨恨你,可是,这个时候,我无法忍受和你生活在一起。
I will try to accept itBut until I come to youyou should not try to come to me.’
我将会尽力去接受它。但是,在我回到你身边之前,你最好不要来找我。”
The punishment seemed a heavy one to TessHad she really deserved this
这种惩罚对苔丝像是很严酷。她真地是罪有应得吗?
May I write to you?’
“我可以给你写信吗?”
Oh yesif you are ill or need anythingYou probably won'tso I might be the first to write.’
“哦,可以,如果你生了病或有什么需要的话。可能你不会有这种事,所以也许是我先给你写。”
I agree to the conditionsAngelbecause you know bestOnly don't make it too much for me to bear!’
“我同意这些条件,安吉尔,因为你最懂得该怎么办。只是不要做得让我无法承受!”
That was all she saidIf she had sobbed or fainted or begged himhe would probably have given way
那就是她全部的话。如果当时她哭了、晕倒了或是向他求情,他都可能会屈服让步的。
But she made it easy for himHe gave her some money and they said goodbye
但是她让他轻轻松松地过了这一关。他给了她一笔钱,然后他们就互相道别了。
He stood on the road watching the carnage continue up the hillsecretly hoping that Tess would look back
他站在路上,看着马车继续朝山头驶去,默默地希望苔丝能回头看一眼。
But she was lying half dead with misery inside
但是怀着极大痛苦的苔丝此时已近乎昏厥。
He turned to walk on alonenot realizing thai he still loved her
他转身独自朝前走了,并不知道自己依然是爱她的。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
bitterness ['bitənis]

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n. 苦味,悲痛,怨恨

 
despair [di'spɛə]

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n. 绝望,失望
vi. 失望

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accuse [ə'kju:z]

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v. 指责,控告,谴责

联想记忆
understand [.ʌndə'stænd]

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vt. 理解,懂,听说,获悉,将 ... 理解为,认为<

 
perfection [pə'fekʃən]

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n. 完美,完善

联想记忆
deserved [di'zə:vd]

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adj. 应得的;理所当然的 v. 值得;应得;应受报答

 
spoke [spəuk]

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v. 说,说话,演说

 
separated ['sepəreitid]

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adj. 分居;分开的;不在一起生活的 v. 分开;隔开

 
chimney ['tʃimni]

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n. 烟囱

 
avoid [ə'vɔid]

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vt. 避免,逃避

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