Step 1: Don't call them 不要主动给父母打电话
Don’t call them—wait for them to phone. When they complain that they never hear from you, tell them calls cost money.

Step 2: Sound weak 电话时听起来要很虚弱
Next time they call, sound weak. When they show concern, tell them you’re just a little tired from donating plasma for cash three times this week.

Step 3: Ask for canned goods 要一些罐装的东西
Tell your mom you’d love her to send some of her homemade brownies—then ask if she could toss in a few canned goods as well.

Step 4: Too broke to come home 承认没钱回家
Gently break it to them that you won’t be coming home for the holidays after all. When pushed, sheepishly admit you don’t have the money.

Step 5: Have response ready 想好“你是怎么花钱？”的回答
Have a good response ready when they ask what happened to all your money, like, “I’ve been eating out a lot to avoid the E. coli they keep finding in the cafeteria food.”

Step 6: Reinforce good behavior 告诉父母“他们是世界上最好的父母”
When they insist on replenishing your account, reinforce this good behavior by telling them they are the best parents in the whole wide world.