[by:可可英语～www.utensil-race.com]
[00:00:01]Good morning. - Help! Help! - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lucy. Oh, shit! 
早安 -救命！ -哎，哎，哎，露西  靠！
[00:16:10]Lucy! Lucy! Hey, hey, hey. I know this is hard for you to understand... but we are actually seeing each other. 
露西！等等  我知道你现在很难明白…… 但我们其实是一对
[00:23:59]We have been for a while now. Oh! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! If I was lying, how would I know this? You're an art teacher and you go to the Hukilau every Sunday...
我们交往好一阵子了露西！ 我若说谎，怎会知道…… 你是美术老师 你每周日都会去阿苏小吃店……
[00:30:00]...and you make waffle houses and you like Casablanca lilies.  - Stalker! - No, don't you remember me a little?
你会盖松饼屋，还喜欢百合花  -跟踪狂！ -你一点都不记得我了？
[00:33:16]I may not be able to kick your ass, but my sister can. Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay.  Thanks, buddy. 
也许我没办法开扁你 不过我老姐倒可以  格斗天女抓狂了，她没事的  谢了
[00:40:44]She's watching the tape as we speak.  How's my temporal lobe looking there, doc? 
她现在正在看带子  医生，我的颞叶还好吧？
[00:53:32]Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short-term memory loss. 
别担心，你不会丧失记忆的
[00:55:02]But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you? 
你的头原来就长的像咸蛋吗？
[00:58:58]Don't make fun of Henry. It's not his fault it's shaped like that. 
别闹了，像咸蛋又不是他的错
[01:02:47]Note the intense overreaction. That's the "roids" talking. 
反应过度也是类固醇的副作用
[01:05:57]- Doug, once again, off the juice. - It 's not juice.  It's a protein shake.
-再说一次，别再吃禁药了 -不是禁药  是高蛋白
[01:09:30]Henry, the boys tell me you're setting sail for Alaska to study walruses. 
他们说你要开船去阿拉斯加研究海象
[01:13:08]- When does that adventure begin? - That actually began... ten years ago. That's when I started planning and building my boat.
-这是何时开始的？ -10年前……我从那时开始存钱造船
[01:19:10]All I know is, out of all mammals, they have the second-largest penis.  I have the first. Did you tell Lucy about this trip? 
我只知道海象 他们有世上第二大的鸡鸡  第一大的是我  你跟露西提过这个旅行了？
[01:22:57]Well... actually, there's nothing to tell because I decided not to go.  
这个嘛……其实没什么好说的 因为我决定不去了
[01:30:19]I mean, Lucy needs me here. I'm just worried about going away for a year... and ruining all the progress she's made.
露西需要我  我担心离开一年之后…… 会摧毁她一切的进展
[01:39:09]I know you think I' m crazy... but I think deep down inside... ...she's starting to remember me. - No, Henry. 
我知道你认为我疯了……但我觉得，在内心深处…… -她已经开始记得我了 -不
[01:43:31]That's what you want to believe. It's what we all want to believe. But it's never gonna happen. Okay. I gotta go to work. 
那是你自己想相信的 那也是我们都想相信的  但是那不可能  我得去上班了
[01:49:13]Will you tell her I' II be back later to pick her up? See you, guys. Don't tell anyone your sister beat me up.
告诉她我会来接她  回头见，别跟你姐说她扁了我
[01:57:02]He could go to the moon and back and Lucy would never even know he left.  Sometimes I wish my wife had Goldfield Syndrome.
那小子就算去一趟月球 露西也不会知道他离开过  真希望我老婆得了金氏症候群
[02:03:12]That way she wouldn't remember when I called her mother... a loud, obnoxious drunk with a face like J. Edgar Hoover's ass. 
那样她就不记得我说过她老妈…… 长得像得过天花加嘛疯的如花
[02:04:08]All right. There's your medicine, little fellow.  Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool 
好，这是你的药，小家伙  芭乐！回去清理池子！
[02:14:45]If that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that. 
你的特制巧克力蛋糕 可别让海豚吞下胜
[02:17:05]How do you think I get them to double flip and play with white kids?  Okay, Willie, that's it.
你以为我怎么训练海豚跳高 还教他们陪小鬼玩？ 好了，小威，就这样
[02:19:44]This time try to stay clean for more than a day.  I made you a nice anchovy sundae.
这回试着保持干净吧  我帮你准备了鳀鱼圣代
[02:23:00]Okay, enjoy that. Henry?  - Hey! - How's your head?  - Oh, it's fine. Don't worry. - Good. 
好好享受  亨利？ -你好！ -你的头没事吧？ -没事，别担心 -很好
[02:27:25]What brings your royal cuteness out here?  I needed to see you. Okay. What you got there? 
怎么有空大驾光临？ 我要见你  好吧，你手上拿着什么？
[02:31:14]It's my journal I write in it every night.  - Oh, you don't like the video? - No, I love it.
我的日记，我每晚都写 -你不喜欢录影带？ -我喜欢
[02:41:07]...from someone else. And when I read this... it's like I' m telling myself. 
而当我读这本日记……则像是我自己告诉我自己
[02:47:33]When did you start this up? Right after you gave me the video.  - Really? - I was so nervous to come here...
你何时开始写的？ 就在你给我带子之后  -真的？ -我心里很紧张……
[02:51:52]...and meet the guy that makes me fall in love with him every day. Well, you probably thought I couldn't live up to the hype. 
要见让我每天爱上他的男人  你也许以为我会受不了这一切
[02:59:31]No. I was nervous because... Because I came here to break up with you. You had plans and a life... 
不，我之所以紧张…… 是为我是来跟你分手的  在认识我之前……
[03:00:37]...before you met me and now all you have time for... ...is to make me fall in love with you. 
你原本有个计划、人生  现在你却成天设法让我爱上你
[03:05:50]That's not all I do. I gave a penguin a bath today. Which I' II have to do again tomorrow. 
不只啦，我今天还帮企鹅洗澡  我明天还要帮他洗一次
[03:13:31]Ilook at my dad and my brother's lives and I won't do that to you. 
我看着我爸和我弟的生活 我不想让你也那样
[03:14:55]What do you want me to do? Be some chapter in your scrapbook and go?  No. 
你要我在你生命里 留下痕迹之后，翩然离去？  不是
[03:22:11]My plan is to erase you completely, so it's as if you never existed. 
我打算将你完全抹去 就当你从未出现过